Big rocket energy.
(Picture: AP)Jeff Bezos, the richest person on Planet Earth, has finally achieved his life-long dream of travelling to space. Flying aboard Blue Origin’s New Shepard Rocket, he and a crew of three soared to the edge of Space on Tuesday, marking his space venture’s first human flight, as well as the start of its commercial operations. The crew, which included aerospace pioneer 82-year old Wally Funk and 18-year-old Dutch teen Oliver Daeman, also contained both the oldest and youngest astronauts to travel to space. That’s big rocket energy, right?
Apparently, yes. Because while space travel is historic and all, people are much more interested in the New Shepard rocket itself — specifically its familiar looking shape. At first we thought it was just us, until Twitter confirmed our shameful observation.
Is it just me or does Jeff Bezos's ship look like a massive dildo...#Bezos #JeffBezos pic.twitter.com/KlfhsMNX4F
— Mr Free Speech - Centrefusenik (@Centrefuter) July 20, 2021
…Multiple times.
The entire internet watching Jeff Bezos fly into space. pic.twitter.com/3g7bxjNETM
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) July 20, 2021
Some even noted the similarities between Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged me, and well, real life.
Life is Austin Powers now. pic.twitter.com/G4MPEd0XWv
— Karl’s farm hand (@MotherofPups) July 20, 2021
Here is a photo of #Bezos enjoying his dick-shaped rocket #BlueOrigin. pic.twitter.com/QUmgTvpOlB
— David Weissman (@davidmweissman) July 20, 2021
I’m not the only person thinking of Austin Powers right now …..#JeffBezos #BlueOrigin pic.twitter.com/LKGkWCfvbO
— Jhanik (@SirKinahjb) July 20, 2021
Everyone’s mind is in the gutter, apparently.
Wait did everyone else know Jeff Bezos' rocket ship looks like a giant penis
— Jess Goodwin (@thejessgoodwin) July 20, 2021
Why is Jeff Bezos going into space in a giant dildo? pic.twitter.com/Xc6uQrCSpZ
— Natalie (@phat_natsAFC) July 20, 2021
Space bout to get fucked pic.twitter.com/z2NCBxQK8l
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) July 20, 2021
Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos really played “just the tip” with outer space
— litquidity (@litcapital) July 20, 2021
Let it be written into the pages of history that on this day we sent a giant dick into space… on a rocket ship shaped like a giant penis pic.twitter.com/JLTdBiea06
— Mighty🌹 (@Mighty_LR) July 20, 2021
The ultimate unsolicited dick pic
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 20, 2021
We love a dick joke with an important message.
Nice penis rocket now let your workers unionize.
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) July 20, 2021
pic.twitter.com/Zx5T7YflrM
pro tip: if you can afford to blast yourself into space on your very own stupid dick-shaped rocket, you can afford to give your workers bathroom breaks. so let's fucking go already
— Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) July 20, 2021
And journalism, of course.
In general, good journalistic practice is to be clinical and wordy.
— Danielle Kurtzleben (@titonka) July 20, 2021
INCORRECT: “Jeff Bezos took off in a dong-rocket.”
CORRECT: “…rocket that was much like a piece of male genitalia in appearance, and to be specific, not the testicles; we’re talking about the penis here.”
So Bezos shot himself into space on a dick rocket and the whole flight lasted 10 minutes. Is there anything else we need to know today pic.twitter.com/WW8wdZRbCC
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) July 20, 2021
Nope, we’d say that just about covers it.
