I’ve had enough of travelling abroad (this isn’t a Brexit rant, don’t worry!).
Cheap flights with massive hidden costs (“Oh, you’ll want to breath Ryanair ’s oxygen while aboard, sir, that’ll be an extra £9.99”), queue after queue, ironically named Speedy Boarding, cancelled flights, striking pilots, lost baggage, having to get a bus to the bloody plane, expensive inflight food (£4 for a Twix and a brew is a joke!), rude passport control, foreigners abroad (and even worse than those, Brits abroad!) and airport security where these days, you virtually have to get undressed and let a complete stranger caress your privates while you wave all your prized possessions away in a grey plastic tray.
Those tedious inflight safety briefings where they try to convince you that not all airplanes are the same so you really, really should listen to their one.
I once saw them ask a three-year-old to take off her headphones for the safety briefing.
That didn’t fill me with confidence – what will she do in the event of a crash? Make a lifeboat out of Play-Doh?
The list of my quibbles goes on and on.
But there is quite a simple solution. In a world where the pound is as weak as, well, the euro, and Brits are about as welcome in Europe as Donald Trump at the Mobo awards, it’s time to start holidaying on this gorgeous and unique island we call home.
The beautiful Lake District , wonderful Cornwall and Devon, the awesome beaches of Pembrokeshire, the stunning coastline of Northern Ireland, the fun days out to be had in Blackpool, Margate, Scarborough, Southend and Great Yarmouth, the rugged landscapes of Northumberland, the excitement of the Edinburgh Festival or the isolation of the Outer Hebrides .
Summer in Britain is quite simply brilliant. Holidaying in the UK means you’re lowering your carbon footprint, you’re supporting the British economy and you don’t have to worry about the time difference (unless you go to Eastbourne, where you need to reset your watch to 1964) or currency exchange (unless you try to spend a Scottish 20 in your local paper shop back in England!).
It’s not like when we were kids where we would go collecting things on British beaches – shells, pebbles, hepatitis. These days, UK beaches are some of the most beautiful in the world.
You know, it’s said that when Charlotte Bronte first saw the sea at Bridlington Beach, she was so overcome with emotion she burst into tears.
I’ve a feeling a similar thing might happen to my kids when I tell them that’s where we are going on holiday next year, but for entirely different reasons. I can’t wait!
