Janey Godley is having a productive lockdown. The 59-year-old comedian has had a run of viral (in the good sense) hits with her sweary and very funny voiceovers, typically overdubs of recent press briefings given by Nicola Sturgeon, Boris Johnson and Donald Trump. A former pub landlady, Godley became a standup comic at the age of 35, and her material often references her early experienceof violence and abuse. She lives in her native Glasgow and records near-daily Facebook Live updates and podcasts from the flat she shares with her husband, their daughter – the comedian Ashley Storrie – and dachshund Honey.
Why are people responding to your voiceovers?
I think because we’ve become so exhausted by looking at the news. You see Boris talking, you see Nicola Sturgeon talking, and you could turn the volume down and not learn anything more. So I just translate it into what they’re actually saying. And that is: “Shut the fuck up, stop moaning, stay in the house, wash your hands, and if I see any of you then I’m going to give you a kick up the crack of your arse.”
Have you ever met Nicola Sturgeon?
Yeah, she stood up at an event I was at and said, “If you want to know what I’m really thinking, watch Janey Godley voiceovers.”
Does it feel weird that she likes them?
Yeah, but if she puts a foot wrong she’ll get it in the neck as well, because although I am an SNP supporter, ultimately I’m a satirist.
In 2016 you turned up at Turnberry, Donald Trump’s golf course, with a sign that read “Trump is a cunt.” Did you expect that to become a news event?
No, I had absolutely no idea. But it turns out I was right, eh?
You’re very natural on your Facebook Lives and podcasts – on stage too. How much preparation do you do?
There’s no prep. I’m the most unprofessional arsehole you’ve ever met! I think it’s not being a career comedian. I never had a plan. I was never good at schmoozing. I mean, 20 years at the Edinburgh fringe and I still can’t tell you who the TV people are and who the reviewers are. I’m really mistrusting of people and, believe it or not, I’m monumentally shy. I was never good at that “Hey, Steve Wilson, Channel 4, Janey Godley here, I’ve got some ideas!” I’d rather fucking eat a hammer than do that.
How much of a blow – personally or for the industry – is the cancellation of the Edinburgh fringe this year?
You have to look at all the small theatres that are going to close. Not the Edinburgh fringe – we’ll all not fucking die by not doing the fringe. Most comedians go there and lose money anyhow. Small theatres, and the small communities, they will suffer the longevity of this.
You’ve had to cancel gigs – are you losing out financially?
People are being so kind and I’m selling my merch a lot, I’m selling my cards and my books. But I’m really lucky because I’m not crippled by poverty now. I know what poverty is and it’s not this.
When you started doing comedy, Stewart Lee gave you some advice – what did he say?
I was just doing like jokey-jokey things way back in the early-mid 1990s, and I remember I was telling Stewart Lee a funny story off stage and he looked at me and went: “Oh my God, why are you doing that on stage when you have this?”
What was the story?
It was a whole big story about the night my husband parked on the zigzag lines – he was only on the zigzag line for a second – and the police came and charged him. Then we went to court and it turns out the policeman was actually a policeman who the last time I saw him was in the stripper club in Glasgow while I was doing comedy there. And they said to me: “Have you ever seen this police officer before?” And I went, “Yeah, the last time I saw him he was trying to eat a finger of Fudge out of a stripper’s vagina in a nightclub.” So I told that story and then I thought, “I’ve got hundreds of these stories, why have I never told them?” That’s what changed it.
Your standup goes to some really dark places.
You have to make it funny; it’s absurd. One of the jokes I told back then was: “I was raped and abused as a child, but don’t worry, I don’t want you [the audience] to rush the stage and hug me. Because when I grew up I married into a gangster family and they offered to kill him for my birthday when all I wanted was a bracelet. Men are really shit at picking presents.” That’s a great joke! It’s a joke about rape, revenge and a woman owning her own agency. And people say you can’t make jokes about rape – I’ve just done one.
Are there any similarities between running a pub and doing comedy?
Oh yeah, it’s a transferable skill, totally. I used to do Jongleurs, the hen nights, the stag nights, and comedians would be shaking in their boots and I’m like: “Fuck, this is a Tuesday to me, are you kidding? I had a guy hold a knife at my neck on a Monday morning. This is fuck all!”
Do you miss live audiences?
Oh my God, I’m desperate for a live audience! The day I get out on stage, I’m going to piss all over it with excitement like a big Alsatian dog that’s not had a piss for a week. No, I’m sick of talking to my fucking self to camera. I want to talk to people. I want to go out there in front of people and then not speak to them afterwards.
