I’ve explored the length and breadth of the UK, from Dungeness to Weston-super-Mare, from Cumbria across to Whitby, from Cardiff to Conway and from Edinburgh to London. A huge number of those miles were covered on foot, with my trusty rucksack. I’m not suggesting you must do the same, but all that plodding has proved one thing beyond all doubt – the best scenery, the best cafes, great pubs, free museums and friendly people are right here in the UK.
Of course, the weather in the UK (like my temper) can be unpredictable – I pack a shower hat in case of surprise storms as dripping red hair dye can look like a serious head wound and I don’t want to scare anyone. I love visiting new parts of the UK, hanging out in village pubs, exploring back roads and paths and swimming off deserted beaches.
One September, I swam off the Scottish coast and islands – Skye, Oban, Harris and South Uist, and then walked the length of the Postman’s route on Harris, taking a dip in the bay where the Queen used to go ashore from the royal yacht for picnics. It was full of seaweed, but that didn’t deter this plucky Brit. I bought a length of Harris tweed in the local post office-cum-village shop, which later made a stunning jacket.
I love the romantic drive through Dumfries and Galloway along back roads overlooking the Solway estuary, and walking a section of the West Highland Way to Killantringan lighthouse. My reward? A hearty tea at the Port Pantry in the pretty coastal resort of Portpatrick.
One of my favourite drives is up Glen Etive in the Highlands. Once, I took the train to isolated Rannoch station and its tearoom, and tramped over the moors to Glencoe and the Kings House Hotel for a massive meal – one of my top walks of all time.
Later, when I was filming a Taste of Britain for the BBC, I discovered lots of hidden backwaters – the pretty town of Montgomery and the Welsh borders for example – where if you choose to walk or drive, you’ll have the roads to yourself. The Welsh border hamlet of Skenfrith has a lovely pub, a ruined castle and an 800-year-old church and featured in Doctor Who as “the village time forgot”. I strolled along the banks of the river Monmow, crossing from England to Wales and back.
I’ve also explored secret paths around the Cheddar Gorge with Bill Bailey and walked Wharfedale in the Yorkshire Dales with Vic Reeves, but Northumberland and the Scottish Borders are my secret pleasures. The historic coast around Holy Island and Bamburgh with it’s ruined castles is spectacular too, and you can get a great crab sandwich in Craster after a walk over the windswept fields to Dunstanburgh.
My favourite train trip has got to be the miniature Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch railway in Kent – with carriages and a steam engine just a third of the normal size, it’s like being a child all over again. On Saturdays, I sometimes take the trip from Hythe to the bleak beach at Dungeness, walk around the nature reserve and then go for fish and chips overlooking the beach at the Pilot Inn or the Britannia. Nearby, the painter Derek Jarman’s house has a fabulous garden made with pebbles and driftwood.
Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo
I also love a posh bit of planting, and one of the finest 18th-century gardens in Europe is just a short trip from London by train or car. Painshill Park has 64 hectares (158 acres) of landscaped perfection near Cobham – it has been restored at huge expense and you can wander along the original path dating from 1740 admiring follies, a gothic tower and – most wondrous of all – a crystal grotto. Harry Enfield and I once spent a morning walking around the lake at Painshill and ended up having lunch in the cafe.
Food is always a big part of my explorations. Mersea Island near Colchester has plenty of cafes and pubs to sample the excellent local oysters and seafood to complement its great beach walking – 300,000-year-old bison bones have been found here.
The old town of Margate, Kent, has been transformed since the terrific Turner Contemporary gallery opened by the harbour wall – and it’s free. I’ve bought some great bits of furniture and 1960s lamps in the retro shops there, and always make sure I stop for lunch – hake and chips or a designer pizza on the seafront. Afterwards, to burn off the booze and the carbs, I walk from Margate to Broadstairs along the beach at low tide, and if I’m feeling superfit, stride on to Ramsgate, getting the train back to my starting point.
I loved history lessons at school and always make a detour to see a good church and graveyard. Don’t miss the eight stone figures carved into the wall of the 12th-century church on White Island near Enniskillen, or the mysterious Celtic Idols in Caldbergh cemetery on Boa Island, County Fermanagh. Or the heartbreaking line of 10 tiny children’s graves (which inspired the opening of Charles Dickens’s Great Expectations) in the graveyard of St James’ church at Cooling, Kent.
The best Roman mosaics in the UK (in my eyes) are at Fishbourne Palace, near Chichester. In the nearby village of Bosham, you can find a memorial to King Canute’s daughter, who is rumoured to have drowned in a river close by. I’m always drawn to water, and this river estuary is sensational in all weathers and lights.
From crab cakes to King Canute, crystal grottoes to contemporary art, exploring the UK throws up endless unexpected pleasures.
