‘Kids should have a different name; there are so many Archies, so many Lilys.” So say Sarah and Steve Mennell, the Hull couple who endured online taunting after it was revealed that two of their children were named Jackdaniel and Tiamarie. You can imagine the sort of thing they faced: “Is there a Smirnoff and Bombaysapphire too?” someone wrote on Twitter.
There were even suggestions that naming your children after popular alcoholic drinks was irresponsible. In their defence, the couple maintained that the association in both cases was coincidental – they rarely drank, and had no idea. Jackdaniel was named after a Canadian running coach; TiaMarie, a Spanish waitress.
At first this seems odd – it’s like naming your child Wyoming and then claiming not to know that it’s also a state. But as parents increasingly search for original, distinctive or made-up names for their kids, the risk of accidental association rises. Accidents clearly do happen, and the consequences can follow you into adulthood. That’s why men called Richard Head rarely last long as geography teachers.
How, for example, will the 24 girls who were christened Fanta in the US in 2017 fare in a world in which sugary drinks are seen as evil? How much opprobrium over single-use plastic will be heaped on the 10 boys named Evian that same year? “My parents didn’t know! We only drank tap water!”
What about the child allegedly named Corbyn in 2018? If it’s an intentional tribute, how well will it hold up in the months and years to come? If it’s an accident, where have these people been? “How was school today, Corbyn?” “I don’t want to talk about it, Dad.”
Thirty years ago you might have been able to say: “Wait, Kale is also a vegetable?” and get away with it, but its popularity as a girl’s name in the US grew by 35% last year, and no parent is going to be able to feign ignorance in this day and age. Imagine being called Kale and having to spend the rest of your life saying: “Actually no, I don’t really like kale. And anyway, it’s pronounced Kaylee.”
