The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
Bridget Christie. “I have rape fantasies all the time; my main one – longer sentencing!” is such a brilliant line.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen …
Broad City. I also love Warwick Davis hosting ITV gameshow Tenable, because he comes out with many Accidental Partridge moments. Each round a teammate can get eliminated into “the vortex” and Warwick takes a lot of pleasure in quipping: “Whoops-a-daisy, you’ve lost your wife!”
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …
The only heckling I’ve ever had is from repressed lads bellowing “Sideshow Bob” at me on a directionally opposing tube escalator. And one time I performed with David Icke and he called me “a massive nuisance”.
The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned …
I have a Cliff Richard T-shirt that was £1 from Deptford market. The week after I bought it, the news was like: “He’s dodgy!!!” so I stopped wearing it. Then he got cleared of being dodgy so now it’s my pyjama top.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …
The Strictly curse! I mean: come on, straight people! It’s amazing what some sequins and a Latin American movement pattern can do to wreck a home.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …
I once had a Brazilian straightening treatment on my hair. Six hours later I looked like Rachel from Friends circa 1998.
Jack Rooke plays Assembly George Square Gardens, Edinburgh, 1 to 24 August
