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Fortune
L'Oreal Thompson Payton, Joseph Abrams

It takes a village to raise a working mom

book entitled Stop Waiting for Perfect- L'Oreal Thompson Payton (Credit: Courtesy of BenBella Books)

Good morning, Broadsheet readers! Why Alphabet's veteran CFO has transitioned to president and chief investment officer, Wendy McMahon takes over large chunks of CBS in new role, and Fortune Well reporter L'Oreal Thompson Payton shares her experience writing her new book Stop Waiting for Perfect. Have a terrific Tuesday!

- Reading list. Writing a book is hard. Writing a book during a global pandemic is harder. Writing a book during a global pandemic while taking care of a newborn and starting a new job was quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 

I’m still not entirely sure how I did it, but I do know I have my village to thank for the publication today of my new book Stop Waiting for Perfect.

There’s a lot of emphasis on the need for a village when it comes to raising a kid; as someone who lives in a different state than both sets of grandparents, I’ve found this to be true. However, in my nearly two years as a mom, I’ve learned that it takes a village to raise a mom as well, especially one who has a job, dreams, and aspirations outside of the home.

(I don’t love the phrase “working moms.” Indeed, parenting by its very nature is work, no matter how you slice it. And yet, there’s a different kind of chaos when it comes to mixing parenting and working. After all, 42% of working moms struggle with depression and anxiety. I should know, I’m one of them.)

I can’t—nor should I—do this alone. That realization came in the form of a late-night bedtime battle with my then 1-year-old. My husband, who usually handles the bedtime routine, came home to find both me and the baby crying.

It’s a scene I vividly depict in my new book, now published as an excerpt in Fortune.

"Stop Waiting for Perfect: Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into Your Power" by L'Oreal Thompson Payton

The next morning I posted a cry for help on Instagram Stories, lamenting how hard parenting is—something society bashes moms for saying, but applauds dads for being honest when they do. Immediately, two friends came to my aid, offering to babysit and help out however they could. It was at that moment I realized a) not only is it OK to accept help, but b) it would really do me well to learn how to proactively ask for it—before I reach a breaking point. 

By all measures, I’m pretty fortunate. My husband and I are able to afford reliable full-time childcare, which enables us to focus on our careers (to pay for said childcare). In the beginning, I felt a bit guilty paying other people to watch my child. But, after an excellent pep talk from another mom friend, I realized pouring my energy into myself and my career actually makes me a better mom.

It takes a village to raise a child. In fact, it takes a village to create a full, healthy life—parent or not. But that village isn't a given; you have to build it. Doing so takes vulnerability and a recognition that asking for help is a sign of strength. Lean into your community and trust that they'll show up.

Order Stop Waiting for Perfect here.

L'Oreal Thompson Payton
loreal.payton@fortune.com
@ltinthecity

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