Get all your news in one place.
100’s of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Comment
Torsten Bell

It’s true, men really don’t listen to a word their wives say

Couple talking on a sofa
‘Women were affected as much by information given to their partner as if they were given it directly.’ Photograph: Tetra Images/Alamy

Listening is a good idea. For example, when markets are telling you it might not be the perfect moment to announce huge tax cuts with no plans for paying for them.

Listening is important for life as well as politics. You might learn something and your interlocutor is expecting their words to have some impact. Men are regularly accused of not being brilliant at listening, but many stridently deny that such gender stereotypes fairly reflect reality.

Luckily, social science has resolved the big listening row. New research involved almost 1,000 Germans in an experiment to investigate how information diffuses between couples.

Each individual was asked about how they thought their household ranked in terms of relative income – a question we know people aren’t good at answering (everyone thinks they are more normal income-wise than they are).

Crucially, those in couples were asked separately and men and women were equally wrong. Then the study gets interesting, because a randomly selected half of participants were then told the true answer. A year later, the survey was repeated to see what effect this had.

Unsurprisingly, those directly given the truth did a better job, with a similar improvement across genders. But the study found a huge gender gap when it comes to indirectly receiving this new information (ie via your partner having been told the truth and sharing it with you in the year between surveys).

Women were affected as much by information given to their partner as if they were given it directly, but men’s beliefs were, somewhat shockingly, entirely unaffected by information given to their partner. Which is an awkward fact for us men. If we happen to listen to it.

• Torsten Bell is chief executive of the Resolution Foundation. Read more at resolutionfoundation.org

  • Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a letter of up to 250 words to be considered for publication, email it to us at observer.letters@observer.co.uk


Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100’s of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
One subscription that gives you access to news from hundreds of sites
Already a member? Sign in here
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.