Some bloke on a Five Live phone-in has just been arguing that you don't need to be as tall as "Stephen Crouch to get on the end of a David Beckham cross". Stephen Crouch, eh? Okay, he was on the radio, he might have been nervous, his girlfriend probably had The Jeremy Kyle Show on in the background ... we know who he meant.
To be fair, his was one of the less stupid comments - every other England fan was hell bent on plotting how best their team could "avoid Germany" in the next round and "avoid Argentina" in the one after that. Like the team they support as it travels around Germany in its big bus with tinted windows and preposterously over-the-top police escort, the default setting of every England fan is cowardice.
Why?
Do you think Germany or Argentina or Spain or their fans are bothered who they get in the next round or the one after that? Of course not. Their tails are up, they've got a bit of swagger about them and will happily take on all comers: "Here we are, come and beat us."
Whether or not England are good enough to do so is a moot point and not one I'm particularly inclined to argue here. Personally I think they're not, but then it's worth noting that I'm Irish and clearly bitter and jealous and biased and parochial and still smarting from 800 (or was it 900?) years of oppression. At least that's what's pointed out to me whenever I have the temerity to suggest that while England might have the players to win the World Cup, they don't have the manager or the team.
For a while it looked as if England were so hell bent on avoiding decent teams in this World Cup campaign that they'd opted to do so by tanking their opening two matches and crashing out of the tournament at the earliest possible opportunity. Now that devilish scheme has failed, it's time for them to stop what Mr T would call their jibber-jabber, emerge from their current torpor and give Sweden a hiding they'll never forget.
If that means facing Germany in the next round, then so be it - it's time Sven's men stopped acting chicken and started playing the game of the same name instead. A decent performance in second round defeat against the hosts would be no shock or disgrace, but if they can hold their nerve as the German hordes hurtle their way, the confidence that would be drawn from such a heroic victory would make the England juggernaut more threatening than any number of police outriders with wailing sirens.
