Holy fire-breathing dragons. Never mind Ed Balls in full knights of the round table mode, I am still recovering from the sight of Anton doing funky James Brown moves in a gold medallion and Simon Cowell chest wig. Plus Craig joining in when it was his turn to take to the floor and get into it like a sex machine.
But it wasn’t just a man’s world this weekend, it was Ore’s world. What in the name of exemplary knee joint retraction was that routine? Unbelievably amazing. I was straight on to Google to check for previous dance experience. I can’t find any evidence, apart from a stint on Comic Relief in 2013 (which doesn’t count). So this is truly impressive, a proper Strictly story. And just the right feel-good factor to eliminate any thoughts of Will Young’s self-imposed exit. Lucky timing.
Len was right to place Ore in “the Holy Trinity of Jive” alongside Jilly (Halfpenny) and Jay (McGuinness). The biggest credit, though, has to go to Joanne Clifton, who is clearly one of the best choreographers among the pro dancers. This is being billed as a fight between Ore and Danny for the final, with Ed Balls as the wild card. (No card has been wilder.) But, really, what we are looking at is a fight between the new-ish pro dancers, Oti and Joanne. They are both nails. They both have the eye of the tiger. I can’t call it. Natalie Lowe must be fuming. Look out for her comeback next week.
Darcey: woman of a thousand hairstyles
Darcey nearly fell over the top of the judges’ table marvelling at Ore on Saturday night. She’s at her best when she’s responding genuinely in the moment. She’s like a kid in a sweet shop, which is lovely to see. And her demonstrations during Len’s Lens are always touching: she’s not as ballroom-dancey as the other judges with her classical background. She has different expectations, perhaps closer to those of the audience. Plus, she has more empathy towards the contestants than any of the judges because she can imagine what it would be like to learn these dances from scratch. All this goes to say: top marks to Darcey this series. And she’s right – Kevin does need to push Louise harder.
Bruno: the jack-in-the-box
Bruno was relatively subdued in his dapper navy get-up, except for when he went into windmill mode post-Balls, nearly knocking off Len’s dickie bow. “It was like a demented traffic warden ... it looked like a spin dryer.” I wondered whether he would have got a telling-off from the producers for saying “I’m panting to the point of turning” to Daisy, but he appeared to get away with it in his usual Bruno way.
Len: the diamond geezer on a farewell tour
Len was all over his Favourite Things: Daisy’s “fan” move in the rumba, Louise’s drag heels in her foxtrot ... the seasoned pro dancers like Aljaz and Kevin know what to throw in to keep the picked walnut collector happy. Speaking of which, we had the first outing of the vinegary nuts this week, in association with Laura and Giovanni. (“I’ll pickle me walnuts if you’re in the dance-off this week.”)
Len was kind to Ed Balls this week, which seemed like a strategic move. In the coming weeks, the judges will either double down and go in harsh on Balls to try and force him out with the power of low marks. Or they’ll go soft to avoid goading the audience into anti-expert voting. (And we all know how that ends...)
Craig: the great choreographer trapped inside a pantomime dame
Aside from a brief contre-temps with Len over Naga for being contrary in his charleston evaluations, Craig was relatively relaxed and restrained. Again, I think this is strategic. He showed what he really thought of Ed Balls by flashing the 2 paddle. But he wasn’t unkind or acid in his comments, which he easily could have been. Eventually he’ll get frustrated, cave and lose it. Claws out next week?
This week’s verdict
It’s open war between Danny and Ore, as declared by the judges. Who will crack first? Or will they both up their game? I’m not sure this macho gauntlet-throwing is healthy and I’m worried Ore wants it too badly and the voting audience doesn’t find that attractive. Laura and Anastacia are still vulnerable, both having been in the dance-off. Ed Balls continues his elevation to honorary king. Long may he reign.
