A 28-year-old tech worker told his girlfriend her smaller income wasn't his responsibility after she asked to revise how they split living costs.
The story, shared by the original poster on the r/AmIOverreacting subreddit, described how the couple — earning $130,000 and $45,000, respectively — have been splitting rent, groceries, and utilities evenly since moving in together three months ago. When she suggested dividing expenses based on income, he refused, saying, "It's not my fault you chose a low-paying career."
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Split Feels Unfair
The teacher said she now spends about 60% of her salary on shared expenses, while her boyfriend spends around 20%. She wrote that the 50/50 agreement they made initially seemed fair but quickly became unmanageable. Despite her struggle to save or enjoy nights out, her partner continues buying new tech gadgets and going out with friends.
When she asked to adjust the split to 70/30 or 65/35, he accused her of trying to take advantage of him financially. He said that if she couldn't afford their lifestyle, she should find a higher-paying job or they should move to a cheaper apartment.
The disagreement left her questioning whether fairness in a relationship means splitting costs equally — or equitably.
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Reddit Weighs In On The Split
Several Redditors argued that fairness in relationships should reflect both incomes, not just a flat percentage.
"50/50 is fair if your expenses are based on what you can afford rather than what he can afford. So, moving into a cheaper place would be a reasonable solution to the problem. Otherwise, you are right, the split of expenses should be proportional to income," one commenter wrote.
Not everyone agreed. "You ARE trying to take advantage of him. If you could not afford the home you are renting, you should have insisted on a less expensive home. He is being MORE than reasonable by suggesting that the two of you move to a cheaper place. You don’t WANT a cheaper place though…you want him to spend HIS money to pay for the nicer place while you freeload," another user replied.
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Others focused on the couple's rushed decision to live together. "This is why you don't make financial commitments together after five months by signing a lease without even knowing each other's financials. If she didn't know what he makes, it means she wouldn't have found out if he was in huge debt either until it's too late," a commenter added.
But not everyone sympathized. "The fact he makes more than you doesn't mean he owes you. You haven't even been together a year, why should he support you?" one user countered.
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Image: Shutterstock
