Torres, the Westminster Dog of the Year (left) with his owner, Tory MP Tony Baldry (right). Photograph: Matthew Fearn / PA
MPs and peers gathered behind the Houses of Parliament this morning to show off their canine companions for the 13th Westminster Dog of the Year contest. It was a sunny, good-tempered occasion, with only a couple of dog-on-dog skirmishes. Andrew Rosindell, the Tory MP for Romford, arrived early with Buster, a Staffordshire bull terrier who was wearing a bespoke union jack coat and matching collar tags.
"He's a very loveable dog and today he's demonstrating his bulldog spirit," said his female minder , as Buster hurled himself at terrified dogs and their owners. His distinctive squeaky yelp attracted broadcasters, who nervously approached his jaws with their microphones to record the noise.
"He was photographed recently with Lady Thatcher who spent a lot of time stroking him," Mr Rosindell wrote in his entry. Rarely have dog and man reflected each other's character and ambitions so perfectly.
The Conservative peer Lord Astor of Hever was exhibiting Cassie, a year-old cocker spaniel with a coat as immaculate as his trousers. Tory dogs outnumbered Labour by eleven to five. "It's the year for the Conservatives to win," he said cheerily, before turning to a fellow peer to mull over David Cameron's chances.
"Unlike championship dog shows, the dogs will be judged on their good deeds and behaviour rather than their looks or pedigree," the organisers explained. This might have been egalitarian, but it hardly seemed fair to well-groomed pure breeds like Cassie or Mr Cameron.
Diana Johnson's husband, the joint owner of a seven-year-old black Labrador, hoped the judges would not be swayed by Buster's patriotic get-up. "I always think that the Labrador should be our peace time symbol," he said, conceding that Britain was nominally at war. "George Johnson was named after George Lansbury" - the councillor who led the Poplar rates rebellion in 1921, distributing revenues to the poor rather than handing them over to the central London authorities - "but he was also named after George Carter in The Sweeney." He wished George could join Diana in the Commons as he waited for late-night votes: "They've got a rifle range but they haven't got a dog walking area," he said.
A long-haired dachshund belonging to Baroness Masham sniffed Lord Renton's collie and spaniel cross, Bess. "He's very interested in your dog!" exclaimed the baroness. "Well, she's not on heat," replied Lord Renton, with the peculiar candour of dog owners.
Dave Anderson, the Labour MP for Blaydon, was throwing sticks for his border collie, Bess. "Her parents and grandparents were working dogs. Now she works to keep me happy," he said lovingly.
The contenders were led, one by one, into the judges' enclosure and inspected by the Kennel Club and the Dogs Trust. Good deeds and behaviour rather than looks were the main criteria, and Torres, a stocky pug with a deeply wrinkled forehead belonging to Tony Baldry was duly declared the winner. "I find him really useful when I visit old people's homes," the Conservative MP explained, adding that Torres enjoyed hoovering up dropped crumbs from the laps of elderly residents. In second place was Molly, a Welsh springer spaniel owned by Andrew Mitchell, David Davis' campaign manager. No doubt Mr Mitchell will be hoping the placing is not a bad omen. In the end, Lord Astor was right: it was a Tory landslide, with Lord Renton's collie coming third. Buster continued to yelp, oblivious to his defeat. Torres wasn't wearing a coat, and no one had wanted to record him yapping.
