The grandson of a woman whose body was discovered uncremated at a fraudulent funeral home in Hull has revealed the profound distress caused by the director's actions, stating he "destroyed every memory I have of her".
Robert Bush, who operated Legacy Independent Funeral Directors, admitted to 30 counts of preventing a lawful burial after 30 bodies, including that of 87-year-old Jessie Stockdale, were found on the premises. Families had been falsely informed their loved ones had been cremated.
Tristan Essex, 26, Ms Stockdale's grandson, expressed relief that Bush would no longer be "walking the streets" but lamented the irreparable damage inflicted upon dozens of grieving families. He recounted using Bush's services following his grandmother's death in December 2023.
Mr Essex described Bush as someone who "genuinely seemed like he cared," leading the family to return to the funeral home multiple times to arrange for ashes that never existed. He added: "We’d been in there a few times afterwards to get the ashes transferred, and the whole time my grandma was there in the back, just rotting."
When police started investigating the business in March 2024, the family called the helpline set up for people who believed their loved ones may be among the deceased found at the site.
Ms Stockdale’s body was still wearing the ankle bracelet placed on her during a post-mortem examination, but was ultimately identified using DNA samples.
Tristan told the Press Association: “We were feeling every emotion possible, we hadn’t even started grieving really.
“It honestly makes me feel sick.”
He said his grandma was “the funniest person you’ll ever meet” who “got on with anybody”.
“She honestly was my best friend, she was like a mother to me, she brought me up as a kid.”
Mr Essex said: “(Bush) has broken every memory I’ve had with my grandma… He’s taken our goodbyes off us, we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”
He said the family had a second funeral at Hull Minster once they had the correct ashes, but added: “I don’t feel we’ll ever be able to say goodbye, it can’t ever be normal after that.
“We can’t escape knowing what he’s done, or not knowing what he’s done.
“The second funeral went to plan and was really nice, just the trauma of the first funeral destroyed us.”
He said Ms Stockdale’s ashes are now on his coffee table, surrounded by photos and her handbag.
“She did want some ashes scattering with her husband in the church, but at the minute I don’t feel like I can let go, because of everything that’s happened.”
Mr Essex is one of several affected families calling for regulation of the funeral industry.
He said: “The Government should have sorted it out a long time ago, there’s no excuse for not having done it.
“There are more and more funeral directors doing wrong things that are coming out, and we’re still waiting.
“They keep saying it’s a difficult thing to implement but, is it really? They seem to do it with everything else.
“The fact that there’s no regulation is absolutely ridiculous.
“They control everything else we do, why can’t they do right by us when we die?”
Mr Essex said honouring loved ones’ wishes about their remains was important “for your mental health, knowing you’ve done what they wanted because that’s the last thing you can do for them”.
“It must be traumatising for everyone who’s not got their ashes,” he said.
“Having my grandma’s ashes has been comforting for me, even though some people don’t understand it, it’s comforting to know she’s there.”
As Bush faces jail following his guilty pleas, Mr Essex said: “Knowing he’s not walking the streets and not causing any more damage, that’s a good thing, but the damage is already done.
“There’s nothing that’ll change that side of it.”
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