Dilbreen was out shopping for bread when she realised she had made a terrible mistake in getting dressed.
She was covered from head to toe in the black veil demanded by Islamic State and was even wearing gloves to cover her hands. But she had forgotten to wear socks. That was enough. It did not go unnoticed.
Islamic State's "manifesto for women" states that all women must dress only in black and cover "every inch" of their bodies.
When seeing Dilbreen slightly deviating from the rules, men followed her in a van as she walked, hurling abuse and profanities at her. She was petrified and wished it was just a bad dream. It wasn't. And neither was it her only terrifying run-in with the extremists who ran her town of Kobani, near Aleppo, an Isis stronghold in Syria.
Being unmarried, she was a target of Islamic State fighters who wanted her to join them as a wife. She was proposed to and one man even presented her with an engagement ring which, she says, made her want to kill herself. Marrying an IS fighter meant being trapped in a cycle of being both permanent widow and permanent bride. With one man dying, she would be expected to marry another and could end up having several husbands.
She refused all requests and fighters forced their way into her family home. They asked her mother to hand over her daughter in marriage. When she too refused, they beat her on her head with a large stick. They smashed up a television, which they saw as sinful, as well as some mobile phones.
Islamic State seized control of the region around Kobani, near the Turkish border, in 2014. It also became a battleground for Kurdish fighters and US bombs utilised against IS.
But Dilbreen, 31, and her 60-year-old mother, Dilaar managed to get out, though it took every bit of strength they had. After a seven-month journey, which included almost drowning in the Mediterranean, being smuggled into the UK in freezer containers of meat and walking through several European countries, they arrived in Cardiff, which they now call home.
Having been in Wales for three years, Dilbreen and Dilaar look like any other Arabic women who have made the capital city their home. But listening to them speak reveals a resilience and courage that makes them stand out. Both agreed to be interviewed because they wanted people in the UK to know their story and feel the pain that they have endured.
Before civil war and Islamic State destroyed Syria, life was good. Dilbreen lived with her family of three sisters and five brothers. Her father had left and the family was largely supported by the brothers. When war broke out, her eldest brother left Syria for Cardiff, which is why Dilbreen and her mother chose the city when they too took the decision to leave.
“Because my mum is Kurdish we suffered a lot during the war,” says Dilbreen.
“ISIS were after the Kurdish people because to them we were not Muslim.”
Bombs and bullets tore their part of the country apart. Two-and-a-half hours away, Aleppo, once Syria's largest city, became a focal point of the country's civil war.
In Kobani, just a few metres from their home, Islamic State set up a Yazidi sex slave market, where killers and militants would bid for women who had been brought from northern Iraq into Syria by IS. Dilaar describes them, standing there, sometimes with children, sobbing and and knowing they couldn't escape their fate.
Dilbreen describes another incident she witnessed while going out to buy bread.
“I saw four people slaughtered in front of my eyes by Isis fighters,” she says.
They were shot and beheaded and their bodies crucified for all to see. The killers wore bright orange clothes whilst carrying out the slaughter, to warn others that they could meet a similar demise.
Dilaar shares the story of a German woman she met who had been captured by IS. She had travelled to Syria with her husband to see what life was like under the Islamic extremists. Unaware of strict IS rules around foreigners contacting locals, they were given a harsh punishment. Stripped of their passports, the husband was killed and the wife sold to fighters.
Escape
Dilbreen and Dilaar knew that they had to escape. With other family members, they left Kobani around dawn and walked for two days until they reached Camp Egdah, in Azaz on the Turko-Syrian border. They burnt their house before they left so it wouldn't be taken over by ISIS.
They stayed for 14 days at the camp without food and only water to drink. They only wanted to be safe.
“Only if you had money could you buy food” says Dilbreen.
There were around 200 people at the camp. She says they were always cold, hungry and miserable. Dilaar says she spent four days without shoes and kept on walking until her legs were covered in mud.
Even at the camp they weren’t safe from IS, whose fighters believed women should be married and having children to increase their numbers ,whose proposals Dilbreen had rejected.
After leaving the camp they walked without shoes, heading for Turkey, where Dilbreen's older sister lived. But, still fearing pursuing ISIS fighters, they didn't stay long and sought refuge with an aunt, who kicked them out after she found out they were perhaps being followed.
After a month in Turkey, itself afflicted by war and bombs and during which time Dilaar struggled to walk during freezing weather, they headed for Greece by boat.
But the boat was overloaded and began to sink. They were terrified that they would drown.
"We were praying to God to save us," says Dilaar, tears flowing from her eyes.
"After six hours a big ship from Greece rescued us.”
For them it was the most difficult part of the journey.
Their next stop was the Kavala refugee camp in Greece, where they struggled for four months with insects and a lack of food, clothing and places to wash. Dilbreen says people died there from the lack of food.
They then walked through eastern Europe to Italy.
Dilbreen lists the countries she and her family walked through. From Greece to Macedonia, from Macedonia to Serbia, Serbia to Hungary, Hungary to Austria, Austria to Germany, Germany to Switzerland, from Switzerland to Italy and from Italy to France.
While trying to get into Italy, they were returned three times to Austria but eventually succeeded in getting in and finding help.
“One Pakistani man in Italy helped me,” says Dilbreen, grateful for his help. His generosity meant they had a place to sleep and could finally have a bath. He brought them clean clothes and let them rest a few days before the next stage of their journey, to France.
After walking to France, they caught a free train to the port of Calais, where, terrified, cold and hungry, they hid in freezer containers smuggled on to a cargo ship to cross the English Channel, something they will never forget.
“We were hiding in the meat,” says Dilbreen.
“I was fasting then because it was Ramadan. I don’t know how to say more. I wish people could see what we suffered as we came to the UK.”
In the UK, they went into the back of a freezer lorry destined for London. There, they contacted the refugee council asking them about Dilaar's son in Cardiff. The council were able to locate him and they headed for Wales. They say they will never forget how it felt to finally be reunited, crying with joy as they embraced.
In Cardiff they were put in touch with Women Connect First, an organisation dedicated to empowering black and ethnic minority women to improve their livelihood.
“Women Connect First has helped us a lot: my mum with her disability, they have helped us find a house, me and my mum are now learning English,” says Dilbreen.
But they cannot forget the family they left behind. Dilaar says one of her sons has been missing for five years, leaving a small daughter behind. As she struggles to hold back her tears, she says she wants the government to help bring her from Syria to Cardiff. She feels both scared for her family and blessed that she is still able to live with her children in Cardiff.
Dilaar tells me she loves Cardiff. She sees this city as a safe haven and feels grateful to have a house and money. She recalls that when she was surrounded by Islamic State she wasn't allowed to leave her home and struggled to find food to eat. The gruelling journey to escape them has seriously affected her physical health. She cannot properly walk without a frame and has suffered a stroke. The journey has made her "very sick".
What Dilbreen and Dilaar have shared is only a snapshot of their long and difficult journey from Syria to Cardiff. Both hope for better things to come as they struggle to deal with the memories of the terrible things they witnessed and endured.
