Money is one of the biggest sources of stress in a marriage. You work hard, save what you can, and try to plan for the future. But what if you feel like your spouse is working against you? Maybe you notice money disappearing, or you can’t seem to get ahead no matter how much you both earn. It’s a tough spot. If you’re asking yourself, “Is my spouse keeping me broke on purpose?” you’re not alone. This question matters because your financial health affects your peace of mind, your relationship, and your future.
1. They Hide Spending or Bank Accounts
If your spouse hides receipts, opens secret credit cards, or keeps a separate bank account you didn’t know about, that’s a red flag. Hiding money is a form of financial infidelity. It’s not just about the cash—it’s about trust. When one person keeps financial secrets, it can leave the other feeling powerless and confused. If you find yourself asking where the money went or if you notice missing funds, it’s time to talk. Open communication is the first step to fixing this problem. You both need to know what’s coming in and what’s going out.
2. They Control All the Money
Does your spouse insist on handling all the bills, accounts, and investments? Do you have to ask for money, even for small things? This kind of control can keep you dependent. It’s not healthy for one person to have all the power. Both partners should have access to accounts and know what’s happening with the money. If you feel like you’re being kept in the dark, ask for more transparency. You deserve to be part of every financial decision.
3. They Sabotage Savings Goals
You set a goal to save for a house, a car, or even a vacation. But every time you get close, your spouse spends the money on something else. Maybe it’s a new gadget, a shopping spree, or a night out. This pattern can keep you stuck. It’s frustrating to work toward something, only to see your progress erased. If this keeps happening, ask your spouse why. Sometimes, people sabotage their savings because they’re afraid of change or don’t share their priorities. You need to get on the same page about what matters.
4. They Avoid Talking About Money
Some people hate talking about money. They change the subject, get defensive, or even start a fight when you bring it up. This avoidance can be a way to keep you from asking questions. If you can’t talk about money, you can’t solve money problems. Try to set a regular time to review your finances together. Please keep it simple and focused. If your spouse refuses, that’s a sign something’s wrong. You both need to be able to talk about money without fear.
5. They Blame You for Financial Problems
If your spouse always blames you for being broke, pay attention. Maybe they say you spend too much, even when you don’t. Or they accuse you of not earning enough. This blame game can distract you from the real issues. It’s easier to point fingers than to face the truth. But blaming doesn’t solve anything. Instead, look at the facts together. Track your spending and income. Use a budgeting app or spreadsheet. When you see the numbers, it’s easier to have an honest conversation.
6. They Make Big Purchases Without You
Has your spouse ever bought a car, signed up for a loan, or made a big investment without telling you? These decisions can wreck your finances. Big purchases should always be a joint decision. If your spouse acts alone, it can leave you with debt or bills you didn’t agree to. This isn’t just inconsiderate—it’s risky. Set a rule that any purchase over a certain amount needs to be discussed first. This keeps both of you accountable.
7. They Refuse to Budget
Budgeting isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. If your spouse refuses to make a budget or ignores the one you have, it’s hard to get ahead. A budget is just a plan for your money. Without it, you’re guessing. If your spouse resists, ask why. Maybe they’re afraid of what they’ll find. Or maybe they don’t want to change their habits. Start small. Track your spending for a month. Then, talk about what you see. You can’t fix what you don’t measure.
8. They Use Guilt or Manipulation
Some spouses use guilt to control money. They might say things like, “If you loved me, you’d let me buy this,” or “You’re so cheap.” This kind of manipulation can wear you down. It’s not fair, and it’s not healthy. Money decisions should be based on facts, not feelings. If you notice this pattern, call it out. Stand your ground. You have a right to financial security.
9. They Don’t Plan for the Future
If your spouse never wants to talk about retirement, insurance, or emergency savings, that’s a problem. Living only for today can keep you broke tomorrow. Planning for the future is part of being responsible. If your spouse avoids it, ask why. Maybe they’re overwhelmed or don’t know where to start. Start with small steps, like setting up an emergency fund.
10. They Dismiss Your Concerns
If you bring up money worries and your spouse brushes you off, it’s a sign they don’t respect your feelings. You deserve to be heard. If your spouse won’t listen, consider getting help from a counselor or financial advisor. Sometimes, an outside voice can help you both see things more clearly.
Taking Back Your Financial Power
If you see these signs, you might wonder if your spouse is keeping you broke on purpose. It’s a hard question, but it’s important—your financial health matters. You deserve honesty, respect, and a say in your money. Start by having open conversations. Set clear rules about spending and saving. If things don’t change, get help. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to stay stuck.
Have you ever felt like your spouse was keeping you broke on purpose? Share your story or advice in the comments.
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