To Queensland, sunny Queensland, where dark whispers attend the family of deceased crocodile cuddler Steve Irwin.
They are, quite simply, Australia's Kennedys.
Their Camelot is Australia Zoo, the tourist enterprise founded by Steve's father Bob, passed on to the man himself, and whose Crocoseum now features regular shows by his nine-year-old daughter Bindi - surely a future misery lit author.
Indeed, the latest rumours to dog this impossibly glamorous, doomed first family concern Steve's widow Terri - with suggestions that she has banished Bob from the zoo, after a bitter family feud developed over the increasing emphasis on "activities unrelated to conservation".
Terri's manager declines to comment on the specifics, but an employee confides to the local paper: "The zoo is a real boiling pot. Staff are very upset about what's happened to Bob ... but he doesn't want to talk to the media."
Well of course he doesn't - old Joe Kennedy was just the same after that whole "Democracy is finished in England" business. Yet even without his cooperation, how long before the world starts gossiping about "the Irwin curse"? How long before people refuse to believe that the stingray acted alone, and suggest there must have been a second stingray on the reef equivalent of the grassy knoll?
In fact, visit Steve's Wikipedia page and there is an entire section entitled "Backlash against stingrays". "In the weeks following Irwin's death," this states, "at least 10 stingrays were found dead and mutilated, with their tails cut off, on the beaches of Queensland, prompting speculation that they had been killed by fans of Irwin as an act of revenge."
You see what this means, don't you? The story has no fewer than 10 Jack Rubys. We must regard its official status as "developing".
