Questions arising from the weekend's television:
1. Why does Jessie Wallace have Lego hair? And now that she's been booted off Strictly Come Dancing, have we missed out on her turning up one week with an astronaut's helmet or witch's hat instead of her usual weird bob?
2. Are some things beyond parody? I ask on account of Britain's Got The Pop Factor and Possibly A New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly on Ice.
Peter Kay's lampooning of The X-Factor was spot-on: the judges' hyperbolic comments; the contestants' tales of hard luck, dead relatives and odds overcome; the razzy crassness of songs and routines; the parade of idiots through the auditions. From its use of Carmina Burana to cliched refrains such as "singing is my life" and "this competition could change everything", Britain's Got The Pop Factor nailed the tricks and conventions of the TV show.
And yet – or perhaps and so – I kept wondering what the point was. There were some neat, funny touches – the appearance of Paul McCartney mentoring Geraldine as she sang the theme tune to Home and Away, Geraldine's medley that went from Free Nelson Mandela into Umbrella, most of Two Up Two Down's exploits – but beyond highlighting the mawkish, manipulative cynicism of the genre, I couldn't work out what Kay was trying to say. That shows such as The X-Factor are formulaic and exploitative? That such shows are basically the same, ultimately meaningless, pap every year? That as a nation we've become enslaved to celebrity, however low-rent, transitory and naff?
Well, tell me something I don't know and do it in less than an hour and three-quarters. I guess I wanted the satire to have more bite. As it was, what we got was, bar the occasional acerbic moment, a fairly gentle pastiche. But perhaps the TV talent show – simultaneously slushy and calculating – is beyond parody.
