Loads of people have been feeling super about taking out their superannuation early.
As you may have heard, they've been doing so under a federal scheme to help those in financial hardship during the pandemic.
This little exchange came across our desk about a bloke named Peter who just got $10,000 out of his super under the scheme.
Peter: "I'm stoked. I got $10,000 of my super out. I had to get it out, I was desperate."
Peter's mate: "What about the future? Aren't you worried about not having enough money then?"
Peter: "That's a problem for future Peter."
Or future Paul, if you catch our drift.
A Bolt of Cloth
This from Mount Hutton's John Ure, following a recent topic on the industrial revolution.
"On my father's side, my ancestor William Ure was transported to NSW as a convict in 1828 after being convicted of stealing a bolt of cloth in Kirkintilloch, Scotland.
"He would no doubt have been a victim of the industrial revolution - he was a weaver by trade and he and a few mates got on the turps one night, broke into a mill, stole a bolt of cloth and threw it in the river.
"The next morning, after William had sobered up, he apparently repented his misdeeds and went down to the river to retrieve the bolt of cloth and was arrested."
Perhaps he should have made a bolt for it, John quipped.
"When he arrived in NSW, he was sent to Boorowa as a farm labourer and eventually gained a ticket-of-leave."
A couple of generations later, in 1896, John's grandfather moved to Newcastle.
Non-Viral Joke
This from Charlestown's Laurie Bowman:
Son: "Dad, what are shoes made from?"
Dad: "Hide son."
Son: "Hide, what for?"
Dad: "Hide, hide, the cow's outside."
Son: "Aw heck, who's afraid of a cow."
Bar Joke
This from Wallsend's Bruce Anthony.
A priest, a philosopher, and a scientist walk into a bar. The barperson asked them what they'd have.
The priest said, "I'll have a good reason for natural evils in a world created by a perfect God." The philosopher said, "Don't we all want a world view that makes perfect sense?" The scientist said, "A workable theory of everything, but hold the supernatural. And, in view of quantum theory, it doesn't have to make perfect sense."
The barperson said, "Just what you see, guys, just what you see."
Comedy and Compassion
Plenty of memes were circling about the COVID-19 situation in Victoria [see image]. We also saw this on Twitter [with a red heart emoji] from Greens MP for Melbourne Ellen Sansdel: "If you live in one of the public housing flats in lockdown and you need any assistance, please get in touch".
