It's curtain-up on the latest of the BBC's audition shows to find the star of Andrew Lloyd Webber's next West End production. I'd Do Anything is scouring the country for a young woman and a little boy to play the roles of Nancy and Oliver in Lionel Bart's much-loved musical, Oliver. And we'll be voting to choose our Nancy.
As usual, the first show on Saturday opened with snaking queues of eager starlets bursting to show what they could do. But were they really in with "as much chance as anyone" of winning that longed-for part? Or is the whole production carefully engineered to just one winner, already chosen for the job?
My suspicions began towards the very end of Saturday night's broadcast when a young woman, coincidentally also called Nancy - Nancy Sullivan - walked into the recall auditions in London. There followed the usual piece of VT where, with some of the more notable auditionees, we find out a bit about their background. Nancy, it said, was just like the character they were casting for; an east end girl who loves her old mum. No mention was made of what she did for a living. (Other VTs showed contestants working their day jobs in fast food restaurants and so on.) A quick google shows she is a jobbing actress who recently finished performing in the Take That musical, Never Forget, itself the subject of a "making of" documentary on MTV.
Next thing you know, the incredibly talented Nancy gave the audition of her life. The camera zoomed in on host Graham Norton's face as his lipped trembled visibly and tears streaked his face. Sure enough, close ups of the other judges showed they were all blubbing like babies at her moving rendition of As Long As He Needs Me, despite having heard it more than 200 times that day.
What a gal. And was it me (and you must bear with me here because I do LOVE a good conspiracy theory) but was Nancy's audition solo, so carefully placed at the end of the programme, the only one played with added reverb on the soundtrack?
In the previous shows, How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? and Any Dream Will Do, the competitions were similarly open casting calls in which a favourite emerged early on. Connie Fisher and Lee Mead, who won their respective roles, were both trained performers who always, to my suspicious mind, appeared more groomed and 'oven-ready' than their fellow Marias and Josephs.
Am I bonkers? Is all this in my head and should I carefully press the off button and step away from the set now? Or is Lord Lloyd Webber (who they disconcertingly always refer to as "The Lord") really getting a God complex and playing us all like the puppets we are? What do you think?
