Do you, while lathering up in the shower every morning, think of Limewiring the latest White Lies album? Are soapy suds the new sex, drugs and rock'n'roll?
David Lammy MP has caused a bit of a rumpus with the BPI by drawing a parallel between music and soap. Now, as anyone who has ever met Pete Doherty can attest, no such correlation exists. But that's not quite the issue here. Lammy is more interested in the idea that illegally downloading music is similar to nicking a tub of Radox from your nearest Travelodge.
Obviously, the BPI aren't happy with this, but Lammy has his supporters. An NME.com reader comments: "BPI, you are fighting a losing battle you deserve to lose. You have failed to shift your business model to adapt to new technology and modern trends and now you're paying for it."
Obviously, there is some truth to this. About 12 years ago, I bought Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here from Woolworths for £15.99. If you work it out with complex maths, this equates to approximately £15.99 per listen. Boo to the music industry! But using the "evil" BPI as a scapegoat to excuse mass downloading doesn't address the fact that musicians are also losing out.
The fact is, attitudes towards illegally sharing music may be similar to that of nicking hotel soap (you probably won't get caught, it doesn't feel like it's hurting anyone) but that doesn't mean the two things are of equivalent value. Music has been slaved over by artists, often as their only form of livelihood, whereas hotel soap is yours to use for free as it's already been paid for. The only thing they have in common is that they're equally easy to take home.
Obviously, illegal downloading won't be stopped, and there's a bit of a scramble now to try and salvage a declining industry, with innovative sites like Spotify leading the way. But for anyone who values music at all, such comparisons sound dangerous, especially coming from the intellectual property minister. Maybe Lammy needs to – as my mother used to say – wash that nonsense out of his mouth. With soap, obviously.
