Well, I was just going to start writing in my diary when I was like OMG is diary writing even allowed? Because everybody keeps going haha wait until the newspapers are fined a million pounds see how they like it up them, & sometimes actual diaries do go in newspapers, eg Bridget Jones until she married, so I would have asked Dave except unfort he was asleep, so I tried Letwin but Mrs Letwin said he was over at the Milibands, I mean who knew they were such friends, Dave will think it is hilair when he wakes up :)
So Mrs Miliband said Letwin was totally irrelevant, lols, just what Dave says, but she would check with Hugh Grant when he got back from his massage apparently he is usually quite quick? I was like no offence but I would like to start writing in my diary straight away, so she was like bear with her while she fetched Hugh's bestie who is called Professor Bathtub, I'm like WHO? Mrs Miliband was like, what are you people like, the whole world knows Professor Bathtub, he was a famous journalist before he went into politics, I was like are you sure, how weird Dave has never mentioned him? But Professor Bathtub said he was too busy finishing the budget to talk & why didn't I call Max, so I did but Mr Mosley's secretary said if that is Madame Fifi tell die Madchen he is on his way?
Well finally Hugh calls *swoons*, so I go can I write in my diary & he says well what are you going to put, from the way I do my hair you can see I am all about intellectual freedom but it is the little people I care about, how do we know you are not going to tap their phones & monster them & btw if you even THINK about writing the word massage I will tell Professor Bathtub *unswoons, sends Danny for Tippex*.
So I'm like, sorry to be thick but can I write in my diary & Hugh goes, Christ, this is literally like climbing Everest, what part of write whatever you like but you might be fined a billion pounds do you not understand?
So I do wish Dave would wake up :(
