The excitement is all too much for former A-Team action man Dirk Benedict.
So farewell then Jade Goody - off to India to atone for her behaviour and unlikely to trouble our television sets in any meaningful way again. (That's if her contribution to Living TV was ever considered meaningful.) Perhaps when cooking Sunday lunch she might look at the stock cubes, shake her head and lament at what might have been.
I barely missed her this past week. The miserable atmosphere still continued. Has anyone else found this series relentlessly depressing? It's EastEnders without the plot. And it's made worse by constant adverts for Channel 4's new drama Skins, which reminds me that there are more pressing things to do with my time - like getting blind drunk and throwing up.
Dirk took offence when Cleo's not so comic alter-ego, Tiara, tried to flirt with him. "She's a desperate woman," he spat in the diary room, which struck me as rich coming from a one-time TV legend now appearing in a game show based in Boreham Wood.
Poor Cleo, a comedian by trade, she failed the task that required housemates to make Big Brother laugh - despite spending two hours lovingly crafting a home-made turd as prop. Well, I found it funny. If I was Cleo, I wouldn't worry too much. Plenty of deeply unfunny people have had incredibly successful careers as comedians: look no further than previous contestant Michael Barrymore.
Meanwhile, Jo has undergone an amazing transformation into S-Club soothsayer. Like Mystic Meg, but with a cigarette permanently hanging off her bottom lip, she's been spookily accurate about predicting the mood outside the house.
"I don't know if it's in here or out there. But I feel something's not right," she said earlier in the week.
"Like a big news story?" replied Cleo.
"Yeah," replied Jo gravely.
What could it all mean?
Well, she's about to find out. Five people are up for eviction tonight - Jo, Dirk, Cleo, Shilpa and Ian. What the housemates don't know is that two people will be kicked out.
Channelling the spirit of Mystic O'Meara, I predict cigar-chomping Dirk and the cheroot-puffing S-Clubber herself will be doing the walk.
There's bound to be boos this evening, unless, as I'm beginning to suspect, everyone else has given up and it's just me left watching.
