Name: 16 December.
Appearance: Once a year.
Age: All of them.
What is it? Wednesday.
Well, obviously, this time it’s a Wednesday, but what’s so special about it? It’s the 350th day of most years. It was the date of the Boston Tea Party in 1773. It’s also, apparently, the worst day of the year to have a birthday*.
What’s all this* business*? What? Oh, it’s just my way of saying there are a few provisos.
Ooh, I love a good proviso. Like what? Well, one thing that makes it a bad birthday is that the days are dark and cold.
So, if you like being cosy indoors, or you live in the southern hemisphere or the tropics, then it’s OK? Yes.
What else? The main problem with 16 December, according to researchers*, is that it’s very close to Christmas, which means people are too busy with other parties to bother with yours. You also get “combined presents”. Worse still, your present may be wrapped in Christmas paper.
That’s a disgrace. Although, obviously, if you don’t celebrate Christmas or live in a Christian country, it’s largely irrelevant.
Yes. And even if you agree that it’s bad to have a birthday close to Christmas, why is 16 December worst of all? What about the 17 days that are closer still? The study* doesn’t say. It was done by an attention-seeking flower company that got its results by gathering data from 2,000 people who told it how many birthday presents they got, how many people came to their parties and so on.
Two thousand people? So each day’s data is based on an average of five? Yes.
And natural variation means that some days probably only have data from one or two people, if any? Yes.
Who actually has a birthday on 16 December? A bunch of losers? Not unless you think that describes Jane Austen (1775), Wassily Kandinsky (1866), Noël Coward (1899), Arthur C Clarke (1917), Philip K Dick (1928), Quentin Blake (1932), Christopher Biggins (1948) and Bill Hicks (1961).
There’s no arguing with a list like that. Every one a heavy-hitter.
So, people can still enjoy 16 December birthdays? Probably … I did say it was a study*.
Do say: Happy birthday!
Don’t say: Prove it!
