‘I have the quintessential suburban family,” laughs Dawn Vago. “I married a wonderful man, we have a dog and we are hoping to adopt.” Yet what Vago calls her perfect life is exactly the one that doctors told her parents she would never have.
The cruise ship singer was born intersex, with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome. As a foetus, she had been insensitive to testosterone so she remained female, despite having XY chromosomes and undescended testes. And medics, she says, told her parents: “I would never marry, or find anyone to love me. I would never have a family.
“I grew up as the odd one out. When my friends were playing kiss chase, I would think: ‘If I caught that boy, would he hit me because he would think I was a boy?’”
Her childhood experiences mean she understands exactly how important it was when, this week, Belgian model Hanne Gaby Odiele revealed she is intersex, in a bid to break the stigma that surrounds the condition.
“It’s brave,” says Vago, who is the co-director of IntersexUK. “We are very proud of her. It’s been a big taboo. Doctors tell parents not to tell their children. Children grow up with an anxious feeling of not belonging to society.”
Vago’s co-director, Holly Greenberry, is equally pleased, saying having a “supermodel and role model”, known for her success, is important for young people. “The silencing and shame and stigma have to be abolished.”
Vago and Greenberry say being born intersex is far from uncommon. According to the UN, up to 1.7% of the world’s population is born with intersex traits – not far off the number of people with red hair. There are at least 40 intersex variations, including genetic, chromosomal, anatomic and hormonal.
Vago and Greenberry also applaud Odiele’s willingness to speak out about the medical procedures intersex people go through. The UN and the World Health Organization have condemned nonconsensual genital surgeries on intersex children as human rights violations. Too often, Vago says, such operations are not based on medical necessities, “but to make us feel socially accepted in a society that says we should be male or female”.
“I haven’t met a single intersex person who is glad they were operated on,” she adds.
Vago says she was left with a host of health problems after her testes were removed. “My body now doesn’t produce any hormones. You need your hormones to function well. Now I get ill, have bouts of depression, get fatigue and have no libido. I have osteoporosis and have broken 14 bones, although I am only in my mid-30s. Before my wedding I had to learn to walk again, because I had snapped the bones in my arms and legs.”
Odiele’s words, says Vago, could really make a difference. “I was [told I was among only] a handful of [intersex] people in Europe,” she says. “When I met another intersex person, I sat and cried – I finally felt I belonged.”
