Inside the Celebrity Big Brother 2009 house

The three biggest stars in this year's Celebrity Big Brother are on the carpet Photograph: PA

Not the set for a 1970s Scandinavian porn film, but the Celebrity Big Brother house. A minute after this picture was taken a well built chap walked in with a pair of skis under his arm and took all his clothes off Photograph: PA

Dumb animals in the Big Brother house? You do the rest Photograph: PA

'So I said to the interior designer, I want a very small gold statue of Bruce Forsyth doing that pose he does at the start of the show. But look - he got the right arm all wrong' Photograph: PA

The holding pen for contestants who make racist remarks Photograph: PA

Behind this door lurks Channel 4's £150 million funding black hole. Don't open it, don't open it! Argh! Photograph: PA

Like some of the celebrities' careers, these bikes aren't going anywhere Photograph: PA

The Blue Peter garden never had anything like this. Unless the weather picks up, don't expect the celebrities to spend much time outdoors Photograph: PA

This is where the inmates, sorry, celebrities, have their daily exercise routine before lockdown. Not pictured: the giant pole with which it is possible to vault the perimeter fence Photograph: PA