Wollongong Youth worker and Indigenous mentor Steve Bastian said he only needs to tell young people one simple thing and then they start listening to him.
It is a crucial part of the mentoring process because, he said, the young people he works with have a finely tuned "bull***t radar".
"If I be honest and be myself and I let them know I've had a hard background too, that's all they need to know," he said.
"Then they realise they can relate to you and you can build trust and rapport."
For Mr Bastian, it is about providing the kind of guidance he wishes he had when he was younger.
That hard life he refers to started with violence and financial hardship in the family home, and it was not long before he started rebelling and fighting back.
"I gave my stepdad a hiding and, from that day on, I decided no one was going to hurt me any more," he said.
Things spiralled quickly and, Mr Bastian said, his fighting was not staying inside the ring and was reaching a dangerous level.
"I was starting to hurt people and they were serious fights."
Judge's message proves turning point
After numerous court appearances, Mr Bastian was given a choice that finally steered him on to the right path.
"The judge was sick of seeing me and he said I needed to sort my life out," Mr Bastian said.
Mr Bastian went to Oolong House at Nowra, a facility that offers a 16-week treatment course and demands good behaviour in return for family visits.
A calling in youth work
While inside Oolong House, he found himself encouraging others to dedicate themselves to the rehabilitation process.
It sparked an interest in becoming a mentor and — after completing a certificate IV in Youth Work at TAFE NSW — the 38-year-old father of four said he had found his calling.
"I didn't have a mentor to guide me the right way and [to] keep me on the right track," he said.
Since completing his studies, Mr Bastian has been working in the social support sector and was recently recognised at TAFE's Gilli Awards for excellence in Aboriginal education.
"I believe you can use mentoring as another way of counselling, without the degree," he said.
"With mentoring, you don't need that, you just need the experience and everywhere I go I try [to leave] a good influence on people.
"It's not always youth either. You've got people in their 40s sitting there, under the radar, thinking they're too far gone, but they're not."
Employment key to self-esteem
One of Mr Bastian's key aims is to get the young people he works with into employment.
He said work was a crucial part of building confidence, purpose and contributing to the community.
"You conquer things you've never conquered before, so I'm a strong believer in trying to get Indigenous people into the workforce because it helps them excel and build their confidence.
"It also builds trust and rapport with the workforce and it's a way of them giving back to society as well."
