Blimey. No! Madeleine! No! Don’t let Ol’ Dangly Earring near your porcelain complexion! Oh dear. Too late. Goodness me, there was a lot of enjoyable tension in this episode. And Mahatma himself! How exciting. I actually experienced genuine tears (thanks to Mr Khan) and genuine fear (thanks to Ralphie’s strangulation moment). This is the Indian Summers emotional experience: always so near and yet so far from brilliance.
Unfortunately nothing can stop the feeling that it’s all just all over the place. So much craziness and cutting between ideas and scenes ... and lots of exposition to explain why Aafrin, the sole revolutionary left on the sub-continent, is absent. It was almost – almost! – held together by the two romantic plotlines tonight. The amorous maharajah and his “free-thinking” (ie rapey) ways ... and the conquest of Sooni! It was rather charming to see three men fighting over her. And at least easy to understand – which so little else is.
Before all this, though, I was just pleased that the two most costly additions to the cast had found their way back to the set. Sirene/Phyllis is back! The maharajah is back! And he’s wearing a dangly earring and hunting for ants. And other people’s wives. Huzzah. But first, folks, a Ralphie flashback on the imperialist rocking horse of doom – an image which could then be repeated later in the episode. Nice and Freudian. “I think I might have seen my mother and your husband ... I don’t know if I remember it ...” Ralphie asks the question on all our lips: “How long did all this last?” “Don’t blame me.” “You could have stopped them.” Oh, please. This is going nowhere. We have lost the tension between Ralphie and Cynthia and this was surely the point of this entire thing.
Meanwhile Sooni was being proposed to by everyone in Simla except for the maharajah. (Although surely that’s next.) Mr Ian loves Sooni! And he wants to make her an omelette! “I don’t have all day.” How long does Sooni think it takes to make an omelette? “I dinnae just ask you here to discuss employment contracts.” This is what passes for a pass in Simla, people. Mr Ian has even put some Brylcreem in his hair. Because he cannae carry it all on his own. I thought Mr Ian was rather adorable here.
But not as adorable as Mr Khan! Especially when he got jealous. “He has the most enormous eyebrows.” “How unnecessary.” I have decided that Mr Khan is the best thing in this whole programme. Or he was until we saw The Eyebrow Man again. I love the unfortunately-named Bumman and his rendition of “An English Country Garden”. And he even has a sense of humour about his eyebrows! My loyalties were split for a moment. But no, of course, Mr Khan must win. Overall verdict for this episode: completely exhausting. Whatever Aafrin is doing wherever he is, he better have some very good ideas about wrapping this all up. Three weeks to go! I do hope Phyllis/Sirene has laid in some extra opium to get us through this.
Political shenanigans
“India wants her freedom.” Not badly enough to enlist anyone other than Aafrin in the struggle, if this version of historical events is to be believed. At least tonight’s episode was a good illustration of the problem of local resistance towards “freedom”, as embodied by Ol’ Dangly Earring. I did feel for Art Malik having to do his most excellent and beautiful acting while wearing the ridiculous earring. Mostly, though, the maharajah’s role here is to be jolly necessary fun, what with his tiger/boy substitution. “Don’t do this just to prove a point.” “But I want to.” And then he asked for a date with Muddle! Ralphie said no, of course. Because even he has limits, although they don’t include protecting other people’s children from tigers. Or avoiding prostituting your wife to a bullying man in a very silly earring.
Evil Britisher of the week
How evil is it to look your son in the face and say “Oh, I have no idea why this woman is in mourning” when his father has just died? “I’m so sorry, love. I tried writing.” Sarah isn’t conventional evil. So we need to forgive her for not being able to say the words and for making the nanny do it. How we’ve missed Sarah’s passive-aggressivity. And here she is having to grieve. “It doesn’t make any sense.” Indeed. We know! We know!
This week’s proper evil-doer, then, was Ralphie: “If you, er, volunteered to, er, spend a few hours in his company ...” “Doing what?” Oh, Madeleine! Eventually, the mouse roared. “Why do you even want this job?” What a brilliant question! No one knows the answer. And this is the problem.
The Julie Walters fan club
Loved seeing Cynthia in her stockinged feet at the start of this episode. Cynthia was strangely subdued here, though, almost not herself. And finally the admission (have we heard it before?) that she couldn’t have children. Was there supposed to be some suggestion here that Cynthia had stillborn babies because her husband gave her syphilis from all his conquests? This bit of information didn’t feel like it came quite at the right time. There should have been more momentum. Instead it felt like a crucial piece of information was missing. Why is she so cowed? Is she frightened of what is going to happen to Ralphie? Are we supposed to think she values Ralphie all the more because it’s her (horrible) husband’s son and that’s her only legacy in the world? Hmm. I’m sure all will become clear. Or if not, please could we have more doves flying out of massive turbans at gin parties? Thank you.
