And that’s your lot for today. We’ll be back bright and early/late/whatever to see what day two has in store for us. Bye!
STUMPS: England 284-4
Overall a very good day for the tourists, who certainly had the better of the last two sessions, even if Bairstow is probably still kicking a chair to pieces in the dressing room for giving his wicket away on 49. “I’ve not always been Moeen’s most vocal supporter. But isn’t it a little odd that you can take a century from our No4 batsman, away from home, against India, so lightly?” asks George Rogers. “It’s been a problem position ever since we moved Root up the order and the revolving door of players to have come in there only to be chewed up and spat out is impressive. Now we take our bits and pieces No7, who we’ve spent two years trying to turn into a specialist spinner, promote him to No4 and he scores a century. His second of the series.”
Yes, indeed, absolutely. It’s been a classic Moeen innings - plenty of lovely drives and a few loose moments, though I missed the period before lunch when Nasser Hussain says he resembled “a walking wicket”.
Well batted brother mo today, I thought I'd stay quiet till end of play this time lol @MoeenAli @ECB_cricket #INDvENG
— Kabir Ali (@Imkabirali) December 16, 2016
Updated
90th over: England 284-4 (Moeen 120, Stokes 5) The batsmen spend a while before the over begins exchanging gloves and bumping fists and generally strolling around in a transparent attempt to delay over No91 until tomorrow. Then Sharma starts bowling, and Stokes could have used up a bit more time had he actually hit the ball at any point - four balls are left entirely, and two defended - but it was enough.
89th over: England 284-4 (Moeen 120, Stokes 5) Jadeja replaces Ashwin, but his final over of the day (presumably) brings a couple of runs for Moeen, but little drama. “I congratulate you on your campaign to downplay the significance of scoring 100 runs and thereby negating any criticism of Joe Root’s failure to move from double to triple figures often enough” writes Stuart Hetherington. “Barely acknowledging Moeen’s passage from 99 to 100 is an important first shot in the campaign. Keep it up.” I did mention it, but I thought we’d established that it was just an arbitrary target of no logical significance.
88th over: England 282-4 (Moeen 118, Stokes 5) Moeen goes for another square drive but he doesn’t time this one. Still, the result’s the same: he inside-edges well wide of the stumps, back past Patel and gets four runs for it. The last delivery at Stokes moves away slightly off the seam and flies just past the bat. Nicely bowled.
87th over: England 275-4 (Moeen 111, Stokes 5) Ashwin keeps going with the new ball, and after Moeen takes a single off the first Stokes flat-bats the rest.
86th over: England 274-4 (Moeen 110, Stokes 5) Ishant comes back, sends down a couple of dots with the old ball and then takes the new one, which is promptly despatched past point and to the rope by Moeen, and then driven (not far, and in the air) wide of cover for four more.
85th over: England 265-4 (Moeen 101, Stokes 5) Ashwin bowls, and the batsmen score a single each. There are five overs left today and a new ball ready to roll, but India are happy to stick with the old one for now.
84th over: England 263-4 (Moeen 100, Stokes 4) Mishra continues, and Moeen bisects the two cover fielders with another lovely drive to find the rope. A single off the next, and it’s bat-waving time.
Updated
83rd over: England 256-4 (Moeen 95, Stokes 2) My mistake, the fresh cherry remains in its wrapping. Still, Ashwin is bowling, so that’s something. And with Bairstow gone, Michael Vaughan’s calendar-year Test scoring record remains intact for now. Root requires 11 runs in the second innings to break it, and Bairstow 13.
If Root and Bairstow score 61 between them in 2nd inns it will be 1st time two team-mates have scored 3,000 combined in a Test year
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) December 16, 2016
Updated
82nd over: England 255-4 (Moeen 95, Stokes 1) One last over for Mishra, and at the end of it India take the new ball, and hand it straight to Ashwin.
81st over: England 253-4 (Moeen 94, Stokes 0) The wicket falls from the final delivery of the over, and Bairstow departs in manifest frustration, swishing his bat wildly, and tossing his gloves away in fury.
WICKET! Bairstow c Rahul b Jadeja 49 (England 253-4)
Bairstow will not reach his round number. He drives in the air straight into the midriff of Rahul at cover, who doesn’t have to move his feet and barely has to move his hands either.
Updated
80th over: England 252-3 (Moeen 94, Bairstow 49) English fans of round numbers must be extraordinarily excited - the team has just tickled past 250, and both batsmen are on the verge of either full or half centuries. Happy times.
79th over: England 247-3 (Moeen 90, Bairstow 48) Maiden over from Jadeja. It should be said that Michael Vaughan, who is in first place, had three fewer matches in which to accumulate his runs. The two all-time all-country leaders, Mohammad Yousuf (2006) and Lord Vivian of Richards (1976), had three fewer still, with 11, and are some 300 runs distant.
Updated
78th over: England 247-3 (Moeen 90, Bairstow 48) Root, having got within 10 runs of England’s all-time record for Test runs in a calendary year today, could end the day in third place. Bairstow is hot on his heels, and only 18 away from taking top spot himself now.
77th over: England 244-3 (Moeen 89, Bairstow 46) Bairstow pushes the ball to cover and sets off on a single, and the fielding is so good Nasser Hussain on commentary immediately credits it to Jadeja, but in fact it’s Rahul. Either way, he dives on the ball, spins and returns it at pace to Parthiv Patel in double-quick time, and the run is only just completed.
76th over: England 243-3 (Moeen 89, Bairstow 45) The players take drinks. England have been pretty untroubled since tea, and indeed for most of the time since lunch, and if that doesn’t cause an immediate collapse I don’t know what will. India have no reviews remaining, having lost one on nearly getting Moeen out a couple of overs back.
75th over: England 239-3 (Moeen 86, Bairstow 44) Karun Nair does his first bowling of the innings, and it’s pretty uneventful stuff, England taking four singles.
Updated
74th over: England 235-3 (Moeen 84, Bairstow 42) Amit Mishra bowls, and Moeen survives a review here by the slenderest of skin-tight margins. The on-field umpire, Simon Fry, turns down a very loud lbw appeal, India review and get two reds and an orange, the ball being on its way to hitting leg stump pretty emphatically, but not quite emphatically enough to overturn the on-field decision.
73rd over: England 233-3 (Moeen 83, Bairstow 41) Bairstow works the ball down towards deep backward point. Luckily India have a fielder in the way, but unluckily it’s Ashwin, who goes down in instalments and it rolls embarrassingly under his body. Still, the ball’s moving slowly enough for him to get up, brush himself down, catch up with it and return it to the middle for the cost of only two runs.
72nd over: England 230-3 (Moeen 82, Bairstow 39) Lovely drive from Moeen, who eases the ball past point for four. Class.
71st over: England 223-3 (Moeen 74, Bairstow 38) Ooof! Bairstow perhaps gets a bit greedy, goes down the ground to Jadeja and doesn’t read the flight of the ball at all. Fortunately he gets a slight edge on it, because that was a stumping waiting to happen.
70th over: England 221-3 (Moeen 74, Bairstow 38) Moeen spoons the ball straight back to Ashwin, a puzzlingly loose shot, and he is extremely fortunate that it lands a foot short of the bowler’s hands. He drives the next through the covers for three.
69th over: England 217-3 (Moeen 71, Bairstow 37) Bairstow paddles the ball over his left shoulder towards deep fine leg, forcing Kohli to sprint from slip to chase it down. The two resulting runs bring up the 50 partnership, in which Bairstow has been responsible for 74% of the scoring.
68th over: England 215-3 (Moeen 71, Bairstow 35) And he does it again! Like in the last over, Bairstow slog sweeps for a maximum! There have only been 73 England Test innings in all of history with three or more sixes in them, fact fans.
67th over: England 208-3 (Moeen 71, Bairstow 28) Bairstow absolutely thunders Jadeja’s first delivery over midwicket for a massive six. He hasn’t scored a four yet, but that’s his second maximum. He only needs nine more to take a joint share of England’s all-time sixes-in-an-innings record, set by Ben Stokes in the first Test of the year.
66th over: England 201-3 (Moeen 71, Bairstow 21) “I think Jonathan Gresty (over 63) has somewhat missed the point,” writes Martin Sinclair. “You don’t get bonus points for converting fifties into centuries but you do get more runs. 88 elegant runs don’t win you the match whereas Kohli’s mammoth centuries do. But Joe Root has the highest average on this tour, so we shouldn’t knock him. Here’s to reliving the halcyon days of the 80s when we were dynamite at winning dead rubbers.”
65th over: England 200-3 (Moeen 71, Bairstow 20) Just a single off Jadeja’s over, but it was the single that took England to 200 runs.
64th over: England 199-3 (Moeen 71, Bairstow 19) Moeen smashes Ashwin to the long off boundary, the ball bouncing a foot inside the rope, and then the next ball skims off his glove but lands a couple of feet short of slip. “Exactly how many overs has Ashwin bowled?” asks Amod Paranjape. “He takes exactly 14 overs to claim his first wicket and from then on its top gear for him.” Um, 17.
63rd over: England 192-3 (Moeen 66, Bairstow 17) Umesh bowls wide at Bairstow, who stretches to reach it and inside-edges into the ground and behind. A totally uncontrolled shot, though the ball was never going to end up hitting the stumps. Later Bairstow smashes through the covers, only for Jadeja to dive to his left and pluck the speeding ball from the air as if he were catching a snowflake. Great fielding. “I too have little time for conversion rates especially if they’re being used as an opportunity to knock Joe Root,” writes Jonathan Gresty. “It’s not as if you get bonus points for getting centuries, after all. Perhaps we shouldn’t fixate so much about them.”
Updated
62nd over: England 187-3 (Moeen 66, Bairstow 12) Ashwin bowls, and England get another couple of singles. In other news, the TV man has found his knob.
Updated
61st over: England 185-3 (Moeen 65, Bairstow 11) Umesh Yadav gets the final session of the day under way, and a few singles are scored.
“Who are all these pessimistic emailers of which you write?” wonders Andrew Benton. “What brought on the gloom? Are they unhappy at not attending the Guardian Christmas party? The first test of any series is for sizing up the opposition, the second for testing their mettle, the third for all out war, the fourth for a strategic victory, but the fifth is just for fun. Yes, we’ll lose, but who cares, there’s the whole one day series to look forward to, soon. Which we’ll lose. West Indies series? Would be suprised if we didn’t contrive to lose that too. Enjoy. And if we win, be happy.” That’s the spirit!
Waiter, I’ll have what he’s having.
Right, I’m back, the players are back, and we’re good to go. It looks very dark, but that’s probably just because a TV producer somewhere needs to fiddle with a knob. Or something.
TEA: England 182-3
And that’s the interval. From 68-2 at lunch to 182-3 at tea, that’s got to go down as England’s session, however angry Root is about developments.
Root:
— Benedict Bermange (@Benedict_B) December 16, 2016
First 21 scores of 50+ in Tests: converted 8 of them = 38%
Last 17 scores of 50+ in Tests: converted 3 of them = 18%
60th over: England 182-3 (Moeen 63, Bairstow 10) Bairstow sends the ball looping into the hands of the man at midwicket. India celebrate, but there’s no immediate finger-raising from the umpire. After a brief chat, however, they send it upstairs while indicating a belief that it is in all probability out. Baistow, meanwhile and most tellingly, is happily discussing the weather with Moeen, totally unbothered, and sure enough, replays show the ball going straight from bat to ground before bouncing back up again.
Blimey. That was a bit blatant wasn't it ? #INDvENG
— Elizabeth Ammon (@legsidelizzy) December 16, 2016
59th over: England 179-3 (Moeen 62, Bairstow 8) From nowhere, after a cautious opening to his innings, Bairstow sends the last ball of Jadeja’s over down the ground for six. “I didn’t say it would effect his skippership I said it would impact on his batting,” clarifies Felix Wood. “I think long periods of concentration are his downfall, as they are for the entire younger generation with their Twitter and their internet and their loud music and low-slung trousers and youthful optimism but they’ll learn. They’ll learn alright. Dreams crumble, the world is flawed. Deal with it, snowflake.” Good point. So long as the England coaches encourage him to check Facebook every drinks break, he may just pull through.
58th over: England 171-3 (Moeen 61, Bairstow 1) A couple of singles here, from Sharma’s latest over. “It seems churlish to complain of Root’s conversion rate (such an empty Blairite phrase) when he consistently contributes,” writes Ian Copestake. “It’s not as if he is doing a Ramps and getting out in the not in the least bit nervous 30s.”
57th over: England 169-3 (Moeen 60, Bairstow 0) A maiden from Jadeja, just the third maiden overall since the 10th over of the innings.
56th over: England 169-3 (Moeen 60, Bairstow 0) Sharma now replaces Mishra, with a new batsman to aim at. Although he doesn’t actually aim at him, sending all six deliveries down at Moeen. “While Root is clearly our best batsman, his conversion rate is dreadful,” complains Felix Wood. “It does make me even more sceptical that he has the mental toughness to be captain without his batting suffering.” Interesting theory, though I’m not sure that whatever it is that makes him wobble as he nears a potential century would also impact on his skippership.
Root has failed to go from 75 to 100 seven times in last ten: 85 88 110 76 80 254 124 78 77 88 (the last three in the last three Tests)
— Simon Wilde (@swildecricket) December 16, 2016
55th over: England 167-3 (Moeen 58, Bairstow 0) Root is undone by an optimistic, uncertain but ultimately decent review, but though Kohli was pretty sure at slip, nobody else seemed so convinced. “In an effort to up the positivity, can I suggest that we are very lucky to have Nasser Hussain’s commentary,” writes Ian Copestake. Yes, you can. “He seems to open up avenues of analysis and observation that a hick like me appreciates hugely, such as the point about how Root improves the players he plays with as his style brings them along in his flow. Shame he is out now as the ship becomes vulnerable once more.”
WICKET! Root c Parthiv b Jadeja 88 (England 163-3)
A good review here for India, UltraEdge showing that the ball just flicked the underside of Root’s swishing bat on its way through. Root’s furious about it, all angry muttering and occasional air-kicks on his way back to the dressing-room.
Updated
54th over: England 164-2 (Moeen 57, Root 87) A Mishra maiden. Chennai’s MA Chidambaram Stadium is a quiet and sparsely-populated open space today, and thus in every possible way the opposite of the heaving, noisy London bar where the Guardian’s sports desk held its Xmas party last night. And all the better for it, obviously.
53rd over: England 164-2 (Moeen 57, Root 87) Record alert! Root is apparently but a dozen runs from history. Moeen, meanwhile, reverse-sweeps with the back of his bat, but gets no runs for it.
If Root makes 99 - and my maths is ok - he'll set record for most Test runs in calendar year by England player. Currently Vaughan with 1481.
— George Dobell (@GeorgeDobell1) December 16, 2016
52nd over: England 163-2 (Moeen 56, Root 86) Moeen smacks Mishra high but safe, wide of mid-off for four. His last four innings: 5, 50, 0, and now 56. Moeen hasn’t reached double figures in both innings of a Test since Chittagong in October, five-and-a-bit matches ago. So, in short, don’t get excited about innings two.
51st over: England 157-2 (Moeen 51, Root 84) And now Moeen does have a fifty, completed in most relaxed style with a gentle push to long-on and a slow, bat-waving jog to the other end.
Updated
50th over: England 154-2 (Moeen 49, Root 84) Moeen moves to the brink of a half-century of his own by flaying the ball wide of past mid-off for four, and then grabbing a further single.
49th over: England 147-2 (Moeen 43, Root 83) Root sweeps very nicely for four. His current record of six 50s in six Tests (well, five and a bit) in India is impressive. But not unbeatable: Andy Flower scored seven in five.
48th over: England 141-2 (Moeen 43, Root 77) Crikey, you’re a pessimistic bunch this morning. My first emails of the day include Lawrent Baldoni’s “Good fightback from these two but if we’ve learned anything from this series it’s that even if we were 350 for 3 you’d still fancy India to school us”, and Simon Ward’s “I’m looking forward to watching India rack up 800 against the England attack. A great way to ease into the Christmas period.”
47th over: England 139-2 (Moeen 42, Root 76) Hello everyone! Some good spinnage here from Jadeja, who repeatedly gets the ball to turn past Root’s proferred bat. The batsman finally edges the last delivery, but it’s a thick enough contact for him to get away with it, and even get a couple of runs for his troubles.
46th over: England 137-2 (Moeen 42, Root 74) A change as we get a look at Mishra for the first time since lunch. He needs to be a lot fuller than he was in his brief spell this morning, where Root in particular picked him off like Predator eyeing up some beefy dude. The crowd, becalmed by this pair’s confident accumulation, are briefly roused by an appeal for lbw, which is turned down. Moeen celebrates his survival with a big lofted drive over mid-on for four.
And with that I’m off to bed. I will leave you in the more than capable hands of Simon Burnton, whom you can email here or tweet here. Bye!
Updated
45th over: England 132-2 (Moeen 38, Root 73) Ashwin asks for lbw against Root and tries to coerce his captain into a review. Having already been burned by Ravi’s partner in crime, Jadeja, Kohli won’t get fooled again. From the final ball Moeen picks the length nicely and sends a sweep whistling through square leg for four.
44th over: England 125-2 (Moeen 34, Root 70) Umesh finally bounces Moeen, with a couple of men out on the hook, and the batsman’s pull is hardly convincing although he does get two for his efforts. Meanwhile I’ve just seen an advert at the ground that has reminded me of the Chennai Super Kings and this monstrosity.
Yeah you’ll be missed guys. Honest.
43rd over: England 121-2 (Moeen 31, Root 69) This is odd: Moeen misses a sweep and gets hit in front by Ashwin’s off-break, bowled from round the wicket. It looks close-ish to me but there isn’t even a hint of an appeal from the bowler. I don’t think it was necessarily out, but you would think it was worth asking the umpire. Root brings up the 100 partnership from 181 balls with an effortless sweep for four.
42nd over: England 116-2 (Moeen 30, Root 65) It’s an over, it’s a play and miss from Moeen Ali. He tries to cut a short, wide bit of nonsense from Umesh and doesn’t come close to laying bat on ball. He drives to deep backward point for a single last ball.
41st over: England 114-2 (Moeen 29, Root 64) Ashwin continues and, with him, so does the calm rotation of strike by this pair. Ishant goes sliding in the outfield, although unlike Mishra earlier he doesn’t get anything jammed in the turf. There’s the potential for something bad to happen there.
40th over: England 109-2 (Moeen 28, Root 60) We do have a change: Umesh Yadav replaces Jadeja, who was starting to lose a bit of control. Incredibly, Joe Root has scored a 50 at least in every single one of the 11 Tests he’s played against India. He scores a couple of singles to bookend Moeen getting three with an uppish drive wide of Rahul at cover.
39th over: England 104-2 (Moeen 25, Root 58) No change just yet but surely it has to come: Moeen misses a sweep, Patel misses the ball down the leg-side and away it shoots to greet the fine-leg boundary.
“Been a bit of a strange gane this far,” reckons Bharat Tiwari. “Got two wickets off two needless shots.Then had Moeen and Root politely offering their wickets via edges, run out mix ups and the Indians refusing equally politely, aided by the umpire missing a straight-as-hell LBW shout by Umesh v Root. Was hitting stumps, that, just about. And Jadeja has pushed Kohli for two bad reviews, the first that Ump had wisely knocked off for being late. Just the kind of day you rue when Joe Root makes a merry double.”
Updated
38th over: England 100-2 (Moeen 25, Root 58) A swept – of course – single to Moeen brings up the England 100. They’ve done well to wrestle back control from India’s spinners, who had them all at sea in the first session. Might be time to chuck the ball back to Ishant?
37th over: England 99-2 (Moeen 24, Root 58) Now Root goes down the ground against Ashwin, stepping down the track and lifting it high over the fielder at mid-on for his eighth boundary. England have gone at 3.9 an over (thanks Nasser) since lunch.
36th over: England 94-2 (Moeen 23, Root 54) There’s that sweep again, albeit flatter and more controlled this time with a man out on the deep square leg boundary. It just brings Moeen one this time. Root opts for the more aggressive version, twice thumping it flat and hard through midwicket to the ropes. The first of those brings up his half-century from 91 balls.
This is referring to when Virat Kohli hit the keeper’s spare helmet earlier:
@DanLucas86 I always thought the pen runs is needed. Image how annoying it would be if a likely four was stopped by it hitting the helmet
— Nicholas Clark (@Basmans_grob) December 16, 2016
35th over: England 85-2 (Moeen 22, Root 46) Another single to Moeen, who has looked a different player since the lunch break. Apologies for the jinx in advance.
34th over: England 84-2 (Moeen 21, Root 46) Moeen isn’t going to die wondering: he reels out the slog-sweep again and, despite this one being a rare ugly heave, he drags it away for four. That was the shot that got him out in the last Test. Jadeja asks for lbw from successive balls but both times it strikes Moeen outside the line of off, although he does persuade Kohli to go for a review against the advice of his wicketkeeper. He chose ... poorly.
Not out
Not a great review that. It’s hit Moeen well outside the line of off.
Review!
For lbw against Moeen, given not out.
Updated
33rd over: England 79-2 (Moeen 16, Root 46) One off that over, scored while your OBOer was fiddling about with the technical side of things. That’s how you be an all-rounder, Liam Dawson.
32nd over: England 78-2 (Moeen 15, Root 46) Four singles are the result of some solid strike rotation. I can also report that Ishant has fixed his man bun.
“Morning Dan.” Morning, Kim Thonger. “My dachshund puppy Dakkers has emerged from his slumber and is listening to Test Match Special. He’s impressed with Moeen’s dogged pursuit of double figures and points out that if our middle order follows his lead and the tail wags too we may run up a half decent total here. He’ll learn.”
31st over: England 74-2 (Moeen 13, Root 44) In an unsurprising turn of events, it’s Ravi Ashwin from the other end. After watching a couple turn past his off stump, Moeen likes the look of a tasty, full, wide one and cracks it through point for a couple, then brings up the 50 partnership with an elegant slog-sweep over midwicket for his first boundary.
30th over: England 68-2 (Moeen 7, Root 44) Hello again, Ravi Jadeja is back on for a bowl after tea. He has half an appeal for lbw against Root but it hit him outside the line of leg stump and wasn’t getting any closer. A maiden.
@DanLucas86 is it just me or is there something nostalgically comforting in checking the cricket with no hope of good news
— Nick Byrne (@iminthetopone) December 16, 2016
@DanLucas86 Any chance ECB replicating the 9.30am start for home Tests?
— Nick Byrne (@iminthetopone) December 16, 2016
Please, don’t give them ideas.
Mahendra Killedar writes: “Few years ago inquiring politely a score at Digbeth Bus Stand in B’ham I was told ‘All Out for No Loss’ by a sleepy co-passenger! England doesn’t look impressed by ‘No Loss’ part of that answer today but look game for ‘All Out’.”
In fairness, Moeen has dug in and deserves credit for that, and Joe Root looks to be batting on a different wicket to everyone else. Their partnership is worth 47 and has steadied England after both openers played shoddy innings.
Essential lunchtime reading
This is incredible.
Lunch
29th over: England 68-2 (Moeen 7, Root 44) Ashwin it is with the final over of the session. A first-ball single brings Moeen on strike and, after seeing off two balls with no problems, he’s befuddled by the dip and flight of the fourth and sixth balls.
Right I’m off for a big mug of ibuprofen.
28th over: England 67-2 (Moeen 7, Root 43) Anyone out there? Ah it’s nearly lunch time anyway. Three singles from the over, which ends with a shoddy delivery slung down the leg side. Time for one more over.
27th over: England 64-2 (Moeen 6, Root 41) Screams of “catch!” as Root gives Ashwin the charge and looks to smash him over midwicket; he doesn’t get hold of it but the shot is badly timed enough that it drops short of the fielder. He gets one with a paddle sweep.
26th over: England 63-2 (Moeen 6, Root 40) Another change of bowling with around 13 minutes until lunch: the very impressive Ishant replaces the not very impressive at all Mishra. A single to Root brings Moeen on strike and immediately two men go out to the leg-side boundary. Don’t hook it Mo. Don’t hook it Mo. Don’t hook it Mo. He ducks under successive bouncers, much to the relief of Trevor Bayliss.
25th over: England 62-2 (Moeen 6, Root 39) After admonishing Ravi Ashwin for his fielding earlier, it’s time for Kohli to look sheepish as his return throw crashes into the spare helmet behind the stumps and gives England five penalty runs. That might be cricket’s stupidest rule. It could easily have been a wicket, too, because Root was totally deceived by the length of Ashwin’s delivery, which turned in sharply and took the inside edge. During the course of the over, Root overtakes Jonny Bairstow as Test cricket’s leading run-scorer for the year.
24th over: England 54-2 (Moeen 6, Root 36) Once again Mishra gets hit for four first ball, Root sweeping hard through midwicket from outside off-stump. That’s some outrageous wrist work from the batsman. A single ensures he’ll keep the strike for the next over, which is probably for the best.
23rd over: England 49-2 (Moeen 6, Root 31) In fact Ashwin is just changing ends. Root takes a single second ball, exposing Moeen to the ball turning away from him and he does edge one, but plays it with soft enough hands to keep it down.
22nd over: England 46-2 (Moeen 5, Root 29) Ashwin’s spell is a short one: he’s replaced by Mishra. The returning leggie makes an inauspicious start, dragging a slow long-hop down and getting mullered through midwicket for four by Root. It’s a very slow wicket for the spinners and anything short is meat and drink.
21st over: England 41-2 (Moeen 5, Root 24) In the blink of an eye the over is done, with just a single to Root off the final ball.
20th over: England 40-2 (Moeen 5, Root 23) Good god this is rubbish batting from Moeen. He gets beaten playing an attempted drive that’s lazier than Arcade Fire’s last album. The umpires check for the stumping but Moeen’s foot was well back. Quite frankly he looks like he’d be happier if it hadn’t been.
19th over: England 39-2 (Moeen 5, Root 22) Root comes walking down the wicket to Jadeja, who sees him a mile off and fires it in shorter. Nice try, Joe. Better luck next time. Root sweeps a straight one for a single.
18th over: England 38-2 (Moeen 5, Root 21) To huge cheers, Ashwin comes into the attack and his first ball, which doesn’t spin, beats Moeen’s airy waft. “That’s a poor shot, a really poor shot,” says Atherton. He is not wrong. Two balls later Ashwin does get a lot of turn, from round the wicket to the left-hander, and gets a leading edge. It’s along the ground though, so neither the slip nor silly point are called into play. Moeen gets two to finish the over, turned round the corner.
17th over: England 36-2 (Moeen 3, Root 21) “The jeffin’ heck was that?” or words to that effect, says Kohli to Ravi Ashwin after the fielder’s throw to the wrong end puts paid to any hopes of running Moeen out. Two singles off the over.
16th over: England 34-2 (Moeen 2, Root 20) This is much better from Root: first clipping a full delivery square off his ankles for two then digging out another, opening the face and running it down to third man for four. It already feels as though he’s going to need to score big to save England in this Test, given some of the shots we’ve seen so far. A glorious drive off the last ball is bettered only by the stop at mid-off by Pujara, who saves three.
15th over: England 27-2 (Moeen 2, Root 13) There’s a leg-slip in place now for Moeen, as well as an orthodox slip and a short-leg. It’s at midwicket though that he’s dropped by KL Rahul, clipping up and in the air but the ball bursts through the fielder’s hands. That should have been a duck for Mo, rather than his first two runs.
Cook’s wicket, by the way, was the fifth time Jadeja has got him in this series.
UPDATE
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) December 16, 2016
Cook v Jadeja career head-to-head
10 innings
6 dismissals
112 runs scored
213 dots from 282 balls
Boundary ratio 4.3%#INDvENG
To put it another way, 60% of the time Jadeja has bowled at the 10th highest run scorer of all time, he's got him out #INDvENG
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) December 16, 2016
14th over: England 25-2 (Moeen 0, Root 13) Four more to Root, although he’d be gone if there had been a second slip in place, edged as it was through the cordon to the third man boundary. As Atherton points out, it’s odd that Kohli didn’t have anyone there. The over also features a play-and-miss outside off and a shout for lbw, which is turned down on height, I think.
13th over: England 21-2 (Moeen 0, Root 9) Jadeja is round the wicket to Root who, despite that swing ‘n’ miss in the previous over, already looks far more settled at the crease than his captahyeahtherewego. Cook needs to get home asap you feel. Jadeja gives Moeen a full-toss first up but the left-hander bunts it straight to cover. When it’s your day and all that.
“So the Burnley Lip has ‘general soreness’, eh?” begins Kandukuru Nagarjun. “Perhaps it’s his mouth that’s sore from all the talking he’s been doing. May be his legs are sore because he went wicketless in two successive Tests. Sheesh, at least Kohli had the good grace to finish a series he was struggling in.”
You can be a bad winner, too, you know.
Wicket! Cook c Kohli b Jadeja 10
Cook pushes at one outside off and, to the surprise of absolutely no one, edges straight to his opposite number at slip.
Updated
12th over: England 20-1 (Cook 10, Root 8) Umesh returns in place of Ishant and beats Root for pace, with the batsman swinging a wild attempt at a cut and ending up relieved he didn’t get anything on it. Root tucks one off his pads and through mid-on for three.
11th over: England 17-1 (Cook 10, Root 5) There’s already a fair bit of rough outside Cook’s off-stump and the England captain is beaten once again. A couple of balls later Jadeja overpitches a touch and gets driven nicely through mid-off for Cook’s first boundary and indeed his first runs since the seventh over.
10th over: England 13-1 (Cook 6, Root 5) Another lovely maiden from Ishant. He’s bowled very nicely this morning – although his wicket came from what was probably his worst ball. Meanwhile:
Paul Reiffel was due to officiate in this Test with Marais Erasmus but after the incident in Mumbai he has been replaced by Simon Fry
— Simon Wilde (@swildecricket) December 16, 2016
9th over: England 13-1 (Cook 6, Root 5) Another delay as the ground staff get some sand down on the outfield. After that we’ll have a bowling change, with Jadeja replacing Umesh to have a go at his series bunny, Cook. He goes absolutely ballistic appealing for lbw – it really is a ridiculous scream from the bowler – which is turned down. Kohli calls for a review but is told he’s run out of time. It looked close to me but the replays show it was turning a fair way past leg. From the final ball, Cook sweeps and misses again.
John Ryan is an amazing emailer. “England are as predictable as the media’s latest criticism of Trump for, let’s say, jaywalking (an indiscretion for the best of us, but corruption for the media’s most fearsome enemy). The collapse is imminent…”
Donald Trump, pretty much just jaywalking. What’s the big deal?
8th over: England 12-1 (Cook 6, Root 4) Cook is beaten on the inside edge trying to drive Ishant back down the ground, prompting half an appeal but I think it was the bat brushing pad. He’s not looking happy at the crease in this series is Alastair. Another maiden.
7th over: England 12-1 (Cook 6, Root 4) Root gets the first boundary of the day and it’s a good’un, cut away behind point with both feet off the ground and nicely timed. Apologies for the delay between updates: Alastair Cook broke his bat, so it’s not my fault.
England are an absolute embarrassing disgrace! Jennings looks bang average all of a sudden as well. We're a failing team. End off. #INDvENG
— SpiritOfTeesside (@Viva_Karanka) December 16, 2016
And they call us fickle.
Updated
6th over: England 7-1 (Cook5, Root 0) I can’t remember who it was, but at last night’s Christmas party one of our football writers said to me that Keaton Jennings isn’t a Test opener. They were right, I fear. Jennings goes, to a pretty useless shot, with the bat away from the body, for just that one slightly panicked looking run from 17 balls. Joe Root is the new man and he leaves one that nips back in off the pitch and doesn’t miss off stump by a huge distance.
Wicket! Jennings c Patel b Ishant 1
Full and wide of off, from round the wicket and Jennings wafts badly at it, nicking through to Patel.
Updated
5th over: England 7-0 (Cook5, Jennings 1) Mishra once again gets his knee stuck in the outfield sliding at extra cover. He needs to be careful there. Cook adds another run to his tally with a pull to long-leg, then Jennings gets off a blob with a push to cover and a very hurried run.
4th over: England 5-0 (Cook 4, Jennings 0) Ishant switches to round the wicket for Cook, prompting some sight screen issues and the delay those entail. The England captain, rather oddly, goes for a big booming cover drive and gets an inside edge past his off-stump for a single. Ishant greets Jennings with a bouncer then beats his outside edge when the Durham man goes fishing.
@DanLucas86 I've decided to recreate the nightbus experience by playing white noise and letting an overly emotional person nap on me pic.twitter.com/uqWKQ2oDUw
— Alex Marsh (@Alexikokopops) December 16, 2016
3rd over: England 4-0 (Cook 3, Jennings 0) Umesh continues round the wicket to Jennings, the angle from which Bhuvneshwar Kumar dismissed him in the second innings of the last Test. They appeal for a catch when he reaches for a wide one but the noise was bat on ground.
2nd over: England 4-0 (Cook 3, Jennings 0) Sporting a Jon Snow-esque man bun and beard combo, Ishant Sharma shares the new ball. He’s getting the kind of lovely bounce we’ve come to expect from him, getting it to carry through to the keeper at head height even off a good length. A maiden, by the end of which Ishant’s man bun has come undone and is now a ponytail.
Ishant Sharma has dismissed Alastair Cook 8 times - the most an Indian bowler has dismissed him.
— Deepu Narayana (@deeputalks) December 16, 2016
436 balls
141 runs
8 dismissals#INDvENG
1st over: England 4-0 (Cook 3, Jennings 0) Right, here goes. Umesh opens the bowling and Cook immediately moves to 11,000 Test runs with a nudge to mid-off, where Mishra’s knee sticks in the turf and he’s somewhat lucky to avoid a nasty Simon Jones-esque injury. A single to point later, Umesh comes round the wicket and bowls a big ol’ wide outside Jenning’s off-stump.
Peter Rowntree, with the first email of the day, writes: “Some years back our Colombian son spent a year in London learning English and working the Bicycle Taxis around London Theatre area. He earned good money and early one Sunday morning after working Saturday night took a night bus back to his digs in East London. On that journey he dropped/ lost his wallet with all the money he earned and his papers. The following Monday at his school in Oxford street the driver of the bus turned up, having looked in the wallet and got the information - the wallet was totally intact, not a penny taken out and to his relief all his papers were there too.”
In fairness the driver of the Uber I had to get after walking aimlessly from Trafalgar Square to Gray’s Inn Road was very friendly.
From what I can gather, Anderson is out with some slight soreness, which means he’s barely going to play cricket again until July. Not quite sure what’s up with Woakes, but it does mean that our very own Vic Marks has given Liam Dawson his cap.
As for those India changes, the excellent Jayant has a niggle whereas Bhuvi K and his eyes have been dropped.
Today’s off-topic thread can be night buses. Send me your worst experiences. Yes this is bloody topical.
Full teams
For India, Ishant Sharma replaces Bhuvi Kumar and Amit Mishra returns in place of Jayant Yadav.
India
M Vijay, KL Rahul, CA Pujara, V Kohli*, KK Nair, PA Patel†, R Ashwin, RA Jadeja, A Mishra, I Sharma, UT Yadav
England
AN Cook*, KK Jennings, JE Root, MM Ali, JM Bairstow†, BA Stokes, JC Buttler, LA Dawson, AU Rashid, SCJ Broad, JT Ball
England win the toss and elect to avoid the follow-on. #INDvENG
— Phil Makepeace (@AlteredCourse) December 16, 2016
Updated
Liam Dawson makes his Test debut
Yeah. In other news, Anderson and Woakes miss out, Broad is in too.
Meanwhile, yer man Adam Collins is watching Australia make merry against Pakistan.
The toss
England win it and bat.
Preamble
Morning folks, and welcome to the fifth, final, post-Guardian-sports-desk-Christmas-party-dear-god-what-was-I-thinking-taking-the-early-shift Test of both this tour of India and indeed 2016.
England go into this Test a sudden shambles: they have finally found a decent-looking top seven, but lo and behold they are about as sure of the balance of their side as they are the lyrics to It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine). Do they pick a third spinner despite none of those in their squad being much cop? Do they stick with four seamers and then barely bowl them? I don’t know, I’m not the England captain.
Alastair Cook is, but for how much longer? Someone must pay for this abysmal collapse to a first Test series defeat in more than a year, damn it, and the tweets calling for Alastair Cook to fall on his sword and revert to just scoring a monumental number of runs are swelling in number. True, he has had a poor series in this most unforgiving of environments, with a young and unsettled team, and has hardly inspired confidence among us observers at least, but let’s give the guy a break shall we?
As for India, there will be no let-up from them here in Chennai, with Ravi Ashwin in particular sure to give it everything on his home ground. He has 27 wickets in four Tests so far. Adil Rashid is not far behind on 22, but their respective averages of 23.7 and 32.18 tell the greater tale. Meanwhile Virat Kohli and his rubbish technique have plundered 640 runs at 128 – second place in that list does not even warrant mentioning – and Sunil Gavaskar’s Indian record of 774 in a series is not an unthinkable target for the world’s best batsman.
Presumed hangovers aside (obviously I’m writing this yesterday afternoon to get a couple more minute’s sleep), there is a threat of further shambles hanging over this OBO. The devastating effects of the cyclone that hit Chennai – it really is remarkable that this Test can even go ahead and for once I think we need to praise the BCCI here – mean that we’re not certain whether or not there will be any TV or radio coverage today. So this could be fun!
Play begins at 4am GMT, which is 9.30am local time. Toss and team news (hopefully) half an hour before then. In the meantime, here is the OBO Top Five Albums Of The Year Countdown.
Five
Four
Three
Two
One – obviously, if you’re familiar with the OBO
Updated
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