That was one of the most outrageous assaults I’ve ever seen. Yes, India should’ve won that game, but the definitive way Kohli resolved a tricky situation? Get out of town. He has stones the size of Sudan, skill you can hardly believe and the moxie of a million men. Enjoy him.
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So, India appear to have reached the semi-finals, where they’ll play West Indies. I suggest they win the toss and field.
Oh, and while we’re here, well played and congrats on your career, Shane Watson.
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
INDIA BEAT AUSTRALIA BY FOUR WICKETS!
Dhoni - who even is he? - paggas Faulkner for four - and that’s goodnight. That was so good it was moving.
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19th over: India 157-4 (Kohli 82, Dhoni 14) Oh, look at that! Virat keeps his bat straight to carve-drive four through point. Expletive! And Coulter-Nile can’t handle the pressure, straying on leg and the ball duly disappears for four. I AM TYPING STANDING UP. DRINK IN THE GENIUS! CRAM IT IN YOUR EYES, BURN IT ON YOUR BRAIN! And there go four more, cracked over cover, and this is ridiculous, absurd, outrageous, disgusting, astounding, transcendental, oh my days! Half-volley, four, what are you talking about! That’s 32 off his last 11 deliveries. India require 4 runs from 6 balls.
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There’s a break as Dhoni has a back issue, but let’s be honest, it’s really so we can bask in pure, unadulterated Virat. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
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18th over: India 141-4 (Kohli 66, Dhoni 14) Faulkner returns, and Kohli absolutely tumps him through midwicket; he appears to be seeing it. And there he goes again, opening the face and caning four more from a ball in the channel outside off ! He is EVERYTHING! Step, step, straight bat, SIX! He leaps and hollers, he is this, he is that, he is the other, it is impossible to quantify the pressure, the brilliance, the sheer ease! Two more, then a single, then they race through for two more when there simply were not two more to be raced through for, 19 off the over and India require 20 runs from 12 balls, JUST LIKE THAT.
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17th over: India 122-4 (Kohli 50, Dhoni 12) Win or lose, what a ridiculous, wondrous pair these two are - they must have the resting heart rates of a dead man. Watson, though, is right into this, starting with a dot when India need two per ball and following it up with a delivery good enough to yield just a single. What, Ho, then tries a slower short one and Kohli swats from above his head, for one and his fifty. Well batted, but has he waited too long? India are absolutely ganting on a boundary here, and whaddaya know, Dhoni slices it too fine for fine third man. India require 39 runs from 18 balls.
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16th over: India 114-4 (Kohli 49, Dhoni 6) Hazlewood returns and Kohli charges like billy-o to turn one into two. And even then, he has to dive. Then, two twos, and what a shot omes next! He comes down, rolls his wrists, and spanks four between long-on and midwicket - this is addressing the run-rate issue. Kohli averages 109 in India’s last five chasing innings; that is not a misprint.
India require 47 runs from 24 balls.
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15th over: India 102-4 (Kohli 37, Dhoni 6) Immediately, the running between wickets looks lively again as Watson returns to prolong his career. But after a dot and two singles, Dhoni is all over a slower short one, slinging arms and rolling wrists to get four through long leg. There are a lot of moths about. India require 59 runs from 30 balls, and this is really very hairy now.
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14th over: India 94-4 (Kohli 35, Dhoni 0) Much as I’d be interested in a ruck between Watson and Finch, I’d be interested to see a calm-off between these two batsmen. India require 67 runs from 36 balls.
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WICKET! Yuvraj c Watson b Faulkner 21 (India 94-4)
Yuvraj plays a nondescript shot at yet another slower one, floating the ball towards cover where Watson arrives, running back to hold a jazzer, diving low and fast to hold one-handed.
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14th over: India 94-3 (Kohli 35, Yuvraj 21) Faulkner returns for his second over - he’ll presumably disappear thereafter to return for the finish. India could use a phat over here, but this is really good bowling,
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13th over: India 89-3 (Kohli 30, Yuvraj 13) The required rate is climbing - Yuvraj needs to make a call. And he does, basing a filthy full-toss over cow corner. Next ball, he misses on the pull and there’s a huge shout for lb, but it pitched outside leg. Nine off the over and this is developing into quite the arse-nipper. India require 72 runs from 42 balls.
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12th over: India 80-3 (Kohli 30, Yuvraj 13) Virat has seen enough, dancing down the pitch to Maxwell. He’s beaten by the flight, is nowhere near the pitch, and still gets enough of it to find six over long-off. He is not of this world.
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11th over: India 68-3 (Kohli 20, Yuvraj 11) Zampa into the attack, and he beats Yuvraj with a googly as Nevill misses the chance to get the bails off, then gets the bails off. There’s an appeal and a referral, but the foot is grounded - chance missed, but still a decent over.
Elsewhere, England have walloped Pakistan in the women’s T20 - they’ll play Australia in the semis.
10th over: India 65-3 (Kohli 19, Yuvraj 9) Maxwell comes on and is milked for singles before, again, Yuvraj turns down a second run. How long before he starts thrashing, or becomes a liability, or neither? Oh and Warner then fumbles in the field, forcing Yuvraj to turn down a third.
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9th over: India 59-3 (Kohli 15, Yuvraj 7) Coulter-Nile returns, and Yuvraj chucks the bat at him, edging past the slips for four. But next ball he turns a single onto the leg side, appearing to rinse his calf in the process; there’s a pause as he receives treatment. And then, when Virat middles two to deep cover, it’s only one because Yuvraj can’t be running that hard. At the end of the over, the physio returns and administers further treatment, strapping the aforementioned muscle.
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8th over: India 50-3 (Kohli 13, Yuvraj 1) Watson has a Test field for Yuvraj, men out for short stuff who charges and takes a single.
WICKET! Raina c Nevill b Watson 10 (India 49-3)
Watson must love batting a lot, because he’s bowling like a man who wants to bowl more. He slams one in short, Raina wants to hook, and instead gloves behind.
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8th over: India 49-2 (Kohli 13, Raina 10) Kohli is disqueitingly composed and Raina seems to be feeding off it - they take singles followed by a sharp two. Buuuuuut....
7th over: India 45-2 (Kohli 12, Raina 7) Faulkner barrels in and starts well enough, before Raina times him over short cover - that is quite ridiculous, actually - and the ball dashes away for four.
6th over: India 37-2 (Kohli 11, Raina 0) So, what is this? As long as Kohli stays at the wicket, India are favourites, but if Australia can get him, well.
WICKET! Sharma b Watson 12 (India 37-2)
Rohit comes down the track, Watson sends down a cutter (I think) and is through the shot too soon.
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6th over: India 37-1 (Sharma 12, Kohli 11) Watson into the attack - Smith is perhaps looking to bore Kohli out, or force him to force it.
5th over: India 34-1 (Sharma 11, Kohli 9) And there he is, off the mark with a natural’s powerflick for four, followed by four more snapped with the wrists to backward point. “Kohli, Kohli” shout the crowd.
4th over: India 24-1 (Sharma 10, Dhawan 13) Good opening spell this, from both ends.
WICKET! Dhawan c Khawaja b Coulter-Nile 13 (India 23-1)
Australia know about scrapping alright, and when Coulter-Nile tries a bouncer, he edges around the corner. However, and what a however, here comes Virat.
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4th over: India 23-0 (Sharma 9, Dhawan 13) Coulter-Nile returns and Sharma makes room, clumping him over midwicket for four before going again, this time imparting just a toe for one.
“Roughhewn? Withhold?” says Mac Millings, and now I’m sad.
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3rd over: India 18-0 (Sharma 4, Dhawan 13) Hazlewood sends down a wide and dot but then a fuller one and Dhawan picks it up like it’s nothing - it was not nothing, not by any stretch - but it made no odds, feathered over midwicket. Hazlewood comes back well, though.
“A switchhit would probably be a wechselschlag in German,” reckons Steve Salter, to which I have no response.
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2nd over: India 9-0 (Sharma 3, Dhawan 6) If only Nathan Coulter-Nile’s forename was Nile, there might be world peace. He’s another with whom you’d not be eager to tussle, and he begins well - three dots, two singles and a dot. Still, though, Australia could handle a wicket.
1st over: India 7-0 (Sharma 2, Dhawan 5) Pace on the ball, yummy yummy in Dhawan’s tummy. Rohit takes a single, and he then fullfaces Hazlewood’s first ball to him through extra cover and to the rope. Seven off the over and neither side will find that too disagreeable.
The players emerge...
160, not enough but might be enough. I’m pretty sure India would’ve took that before the start of the innings - I’m sure they’d’ve took it after four-and-a-bit overs when Australia were 54-0. The pitch might be slowing up, but you’d back India’s batters to find a way - it’ll take a monumental bowling and fielding effort to stop them.
India need 161 to win
20th over: Australia 160-6 (Watson 18, Nevill 10) Watson backs to leg, carving an edge hard and fast past Dhoni for four, but the next ball yields but a single; what has Nevill got? Plenty! He skips across his stumps and flips over his head for four, first ball! He thumps six over wide long-on, second ball!
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WICKET! Faulkner c Kohli b Pandya 10 (Australia 145-6)
The Finisher goes at a low full toss, swiping hard and high - too high, because Kohli is underneath it, and his ilk do not drop that ilk.
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19th over: Australia 145-5 (Watson 13, Faulkner 10) Phut, sputter, and related associated. Faulkner cuts Bumrah’s first ball for four to third amn but only singles follow, Rohit diving low behind himself to save three off the final delivery. Australia need something huge here - Pandya will bowl.
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18th over: Australia 136-5 (Watson 11, Faulkner 3) Nehra returns and is on the money right away, what a valuable over this is; three singles then two dots then a single. Brilliant.
“Switchhitting is one word” tweets Brian English. “You wrote it, you understood it. English is quite good at compound nouns. Not German,but....”
For sure, if writing and understanding is all that’s required - I’m not sure that it is. Meanwhile, Up’k’ Chappani suggests hitchhiker - the OED says
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17th over: Australia 132-5 (Watson 9, Faulkner 1) India are, in the sporting parlance, buzzing. And so they should be - what a recovery this is.
HUGE WICKET! Maxwell b Bumrah 31 (Australia 130-5)
There are infinite ways of describing things, but sometimes simplest makes most sense: Maxwell misses a straight one. Ok, ok, it was a bit slower, too.
Here comes Faulkner...
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17th over: Australia 130-4 (Maxwell 31, Watson 8) Is switchhitting one word? I know it isn’t, but it should be - where else can you see a double h? Where else deserves to have a double h?
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16th over: Australia 129-4 (Maxwell 31, Watson 7) Will the assault begin this over? It does not look so, singles, wides and byes accounting for the first four balls. But Maxi has had enough, turning one so far round the corner he almost wraps himself up in it for a one-bounce four, then switchhitting on the full for six! Ta-ra Ravindra!
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15th over: Australia 114-4 (Maxwell 19, Watson 6) Who’d win a ruck between Finch and Watson? And can we watch please? What, Ho muscles a short one to the square-leg fence to get off the mark and then Maxwell carves over the infield but close to Sharma. He doesn’t pick the ball up well, though, instead saving the boundary rather than nashing in for the catch.
14th over: Australia 104-4 (Maxwell 16, Watson 0) Maxwell hasn’t really looked comfy yet, shouting at himself when he squirts one from Yuvraj, but he needs to get himself settled - England got to 170 from this kind of position yesterday. This is cunning from Dhoni, though, fiddling through another over while the batsmen think about what to do next. Four off the over.
13th over: Australia 100-4 (Maxwell 13, Watson 0) Anything could happen. Or could it?
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WICKET! Finch c Dhawan b Pandya 43 (Australia 100-4)
Well played Pandya! Undeterred, he tries another short one, challenging Finch, and this time he doesn’t get enough of it, holing out to deep midwicket. Australia are in a situation now.
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13th over: Australia 100-3 (Finch 43, Maxwell 13) Maxwell takes a single off Pandya and then Finch finds long-on where Kohli fumbles. He recovers well to belt in an excellent return, but Maxwell was off very quickly and they turn one into two. Then Finch waits for a short one, thumping four - he really does look like he wrestles crocodiles - but....
12th over: Australia 93-3 (Finch 37, Maxwell 12) After Yuvraj concedes three from his first two balls, Maxwell flips him over the infield - not literally, though that would be a sight - and Raina charges around the boundary to slap the ball away, saving two. Slightly better over for Australia though, who haven’t found the fence in nearly five overs.
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11th over: Australia 85-3 (Finch 35, Maxwell 6) Gosh, Maxi Maxwell sways and tries a ramp at Pandya, very nearly guiding the ball into Dhoni’s gloves. And he tries the same at the next delivery, which can’t be arsed bouncing and cuts him in half at the waist. Another useful over, and Australia will be starting to wonder - the fluctuations T20 manages to contrive are really quite incredible.
10th over: Australia 81-3 (Finch 34, Maxwell 3) Huge partnership for Australia now, and when Yuvraj oversteps, the free hit ball is pasted down - Maxwell can’t get at it! In the meantime, we see that Smith didn’t edge - or, put another way, excellent appealing from Dhoni.
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WICKET! Smith c Dhoni b Yuvraj 2 (Australia 74-3)
Yuvraj Singh is just one of those people. He gets Australia’s captain with his first ball of the competition - Smith stays back to a sharp one before waving at it, and was not at all impressed with the decision, much as he didn’t handle the delivery well.
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9th over: Australia 74-2 (Finch 32, Smith 2) Good and bad for Australia - just one run off Jadeja’s over, but Maxwell and Zampa will have taken note.
8th over: Australia 73-2 (Finch 32, Smith 1) This is riveting already.
WICKET! Warner st Dhoni b Ashwin 6 (australia 72-2)
Another failure for Colonel Mustard. He comes down the pitch, Ashwin noted the same, dropped shorter, found huge turns, and old Microsoft did the rest. That was both brilliant and silly at the same time.
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8th over: Australia 72-1 (Finch 32, Warner 5) I wonder if India would take the current run-rate of 9.14 - I think they might. But it quickly goes up a notch, when Finch, punch-glides a drive through cover after Ashwin is short.
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7th over: Australia 64-1 (Finch 27, Warner 5) Jadeja into the attack, and there follows another quiet over.
“How about the Devon Loch fiasco, England at Headingley 1981, or winning the World T20?” asks John Starbuck of hard to predict sporting events. “It was easy enough to predict them, but the predictors got a surprise. There must be lots of other examples; let’s face it, the betting industry exists because of this.”
Yes - there will always be shocks - but I was talking about in advance, rather than once the competition was underway. For various reasons, T20 cricket is the hardest. No team game is as easily turned by a single intervention, and no competition has as many teams with as many matchwinners. It’s basically a skilful version of Yahtzee, or something.
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6th over: Australia 59-1 (Finch 24, Warner 2) Bumrah returns, arm flailing as is its wont, and he flings one into Warner’s pad. Appeals are loud, but he was backing away and the umpire isn’t interested. Four from the over, and India takes a breath.
5th over: Australia 55-1 (Finch 22, Warner 1) That’s better from India - one run from it, and a wicket.
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WICKET! Khawaja c Dhoni b Nehra 26 (Australia 54-1)
By expletive, India needed that. Khawaja drives outside off and clunks an edge high to Dhoni. His runs came from just 16 balls.
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5th over: Australia 54-0 (Khawaja 26, Finch 22) It never rains but sometimes it pours so hard it makes your head bleed. Finch chips Nehra just over the head of Raina - had he been on the edge of the circle he’d have had that.
4th over: Australia 53-0 (Khawaja 26, Finch 21) Ashwin replaces Nehra - wonder if Dhoni regrets not opening with him. And he concedes a run off his first two balls, and, er, then, er, Finch shmices six over long-on, then zetzes six more over long-on. And then five wides and then another wide. 22 off the over - India are, not to put too fine a point on it, in shtuck.
3rd over: Australia 31-0 (Khawaja 25, Finch 6) Finch walks down the track again and tries a whip to leg, but misses. He doesn’t miss out next ball though, flinging everything at a cut that hurtles to the rope, after which a single abetted by Dhoni’s fuble brings Khawaja back on strike. He promptly grabs his sixth four with a spectacular trick-shot, inside-edged between his legs, and this is now a very useful start.
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2nd over: Australia 21-0 (Khawaja 20, Finch 1) Bumrah takes the new ball from the other end and Finch walks into a push at mid-on then charges after a single; Pandya hares in to shy at the stumps. He misses, just, but Finch was probably just in. Next ball, Khawaja slings in the air to the midwicket fence and then again. So Bumrah goes around the wicket to the lefty - and there’s another four, a length ball easily clumped to square-leg. A dot follows, and then a lovely elegant run down to third man for four more. 17 off the over.
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1st over: Australia 4-0 (Khawaja 4, Finch 0) The first ball sits up lovely, and Khawaja cracks a pull from outside off to the fence at square-leg. But Nehra comes back well with five dots, the second and fifth of them beating the bat off the seam. As Ryan Giggs would say, he’d’ve took it.
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Khawaja takes guard, Nehra prepares.
It would be really nice if someone could turn up the crowd noise. They keep telling us how loud it is, we keep hearing more or less nowt.
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India huddle. “Play well, please”, MS Dhoni is probably saying.
When did it become mandatory to clap after hearing a national anthem?
Out come the players. There’s probably a lot of noise in Mohali, but we can’t hear it for commentary and effects.
Who does one favour on a batting track? Australia’s line-up is monstrous, but India’s line-up is monstrous; Australia’s spinners look in better nick, India are at home.
Email! “And what a way to slip Brobdingnagain in!” exclaims Michelle Broadley Indeed it would be if this competition was being broadcast on terrestrial TV. The chat in the pub certainly would not just be about a certain international football FRIENDLY which did not come even close to brobdingnagain proportions.
Personally I thought WI were the hot favourites to win…. but now?”
It’s a shame, yes - though not entirely simple, I don’t think. As for who wins, well, I don’t think there’s been a sporting event in the history of the world as difficult to predict.
Australia win the toss and will bat.
Steve Smith thinks the track might dry out - useful for his spinners - and reckons runs on the board are important. His team are unchanged.
MS Dhoni would’ve batted as well - the pitch looks like the one their batters have been waiting for, but you never know, apparently. They are unchanged too.
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What a competition this already is! Well, to the extent that that’s possible. In the end, a great competition needs a great knockout stage, which, more or less, effectively, to all intents and purposes, as it goes, that starts here. Can India redeem themselves? Can Australia australia?
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Preamble
Large, sizeable, of considerable size, substantial, considerable, great, huge, immense, enormous, extensive, colossal, massive, mammoth, vast, prodigious, tremendous, gigantic, giant, monumental, mighty, stupendous, gargantuan, elephantine, titanic, epic, mountainous, megalithic, monstrous, Brobdingnagian; towering, tall, high, lofty; outsize, oversized, overgrown, cumbersome, unwieldy; inordinate, unlimited, goodly; capacious, voluminous, commodious, spacious, good-sized, fair-size, king-sized, man-size, family-sized, economy-size, jumbo, whopping, whopping great, thumping, thumping great, bumper, mega, humongous, monster, astronomical, cosmic, almighty, dirty great, socking great, tidy, whacking, whacking great, ginormous, massy.
