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Bangkok Post

Lifestyle

In the mood for...

The month of love is upon us and what better way to show your love for someone than by treating them to a fun-filled St Valentine's Day activity. Guru has collected 14 ideas from vanilla to erotica, to satisfy all cravings.

1. Retro couple snaps

Take a few photos together with a retro vibe at Sculpture Bangkok's photo booth. They have more than 10 booths in 10 branches situated in all the coolest spots inside and outside Bangkok, each with its own theme and gimmick. Prices range from B107-B190. Visit sculpturebangkok.com.

2. Blind date with a book

If you have yet to find a special someone in time for St Valentine's Day, why not try your luck on a blind date? The twist is that the date is with a book. Klinnangsue (smell of books) bookshop offers a unique book-buying experience where customers can choose the books from the quotes that they have inside without seeing their covers. It's essentially Tinder for book lovers. However, if you do have a special someone, try buying a book each and swap them. Find Klinnangsue on Instagram @Klinnangsue or visit their book store at the Klinnangsue House in Nan.

3. Wine and dine

The classic way to celebrate St Valentine's Day is having a romantic meal. Flip over to our Food listings page and you'll find recommendations from the best restaurants, including a few Michelin star laureates. But if a full meal is a bit too heavy for your liking try treating your significant other to love-filled afternoon teas. There are also cocktail recommendations for a more boozy night.

4. Staycation

After having been stuffed full of love and food, find a place to spend a romantic night with room service and a breakfast buffet the next morning. If you choose the right venue, like Le Méridien Bangkok on Surawong, you could let the indulgence last the day after with a 90-minute chocolate oil massage. The sensorial aroma of cocoa eases any aches the night of passion might have caused (don't act coy, you know what we mean) and all for an affordable B1,800++ per person. Visit lemeridienbangkoksurawong.com.

5. Netflix and chill

For the more introverted spending St Valentine's Day together, staying in the comfort (and privacy) of your own home can be the answer you are looking for. During the month of love, Netflix has a few romantic classics to enjoy from Call Me By Your Name, La La Land and Notting Hill. But, if romance is not your cup of tea, Netflix also has all genres of films, series and TV shows, as you know. Visit netflix.com.

6. Escape room

Create a bonding experience between you and your better half at Escape Room Thailand with their many horrifying games like "The Mysterious Room", "Crime Scene", "Up, Bon Voyage", "Mummy Returns" and many more. Bold couples can experience chilling and adventurous games together. Normal prices for one 45-minute session is B550 per person, but if you book through Traveloka there is a promotion for B480 per person. Experience the chill at escaperoomthailand.com.

7. Pole goddess

Awaken the goddess in you on the day of love with a pole dance class at Fly Me to The Moon with their St Valentine's Day promotion "Love At First Fly", starting at B390 per class. If pole dancing is too bold, you can also try hoops, hammock and chair dance classes there for the same price. Make it a special day for you and (maybe some sexy time later with) your better half. Find them on Instagram @flymetothemoonstudio.

8. Cutesy couples

Embellish your St Valentine's Day memory with an art event by globally-renowned illustrators "Sundae Kids", called "Love letter To Bangkok", which tells stories about the relationships of young people through cute illustrations that are relatable. The exhibition is on display at Groove Gallery Walk. The vertical art exhibition stretches from the first floor to the fifth floor of CentralWorld until Apr 30.

9. Art therapy

On Feb 19 and 26, let art help you take a peek into your psyche and your relationship dynamics with Studio Persona's online workshop called "Self-Care: Relationship". The workshop helps you learn the attachment style that you've formed in your childhood through journaling and free writing. The session will be conducted by a registered art therapist from the International Expressive Arts Therapy Association. It's priced at B1,490 per person or B2,800 per couple, which includes all workshop material that will be delivered to your doorstep. Curious? More info at studio-persona.com or Line @studiopersona.

10. Love worshiper

Whether you're single or taken, most of us need a little help when it comes to love. The Hindu goddess of good fortune, Lakshmi, is not only known for granting luck in game but also luck in love, be it finding love or strengthening love. Bring her gifts of pink lotus and fruit juices like coconut water. Find her on the 4th floor of Gaysorn from 10am-6pm.

11. Pick up the pulse

For the sensual and art-loving couples, support new and emerging artists in a strikingly thought-provoking exhibition of the winners and top 25 finalists of the inaugural Pulse Awards: Art for Life at Pulse Gallery on Phloenchit Road. The exhibition features new works by artists from across Asia to raise awareness on normalising sexual mental well-being and remove social stigma and discrimination under the theme "Sexual Health Matters". On display until Feb 28.

12. Out of the shell

Until Feb 14, experience the more hidden sides of love at Dreamer studio, Inthamara 4 Alley in an exhibition dealing with sexual tastes that have been only talked about behind closed doors…until now. "Out Of The Shell", curated by fashion photographer Surachai Saengsuwan, has displays from 10 artists, each adding their unique touch of eroticism. The exhibition also features activities and workshops on Feb 12-13 such as rope bondage for beginners by Unnamedminor, erotic fashion photography and "Fruit fetish" by Superfah Jellyfish among others.

13. Raid the closet

Take yourself and your significant other on a new and naughty adventure at The Hidden Closet in Thong Lo 6, a shop of adult toys to fulfil any of your fantasies from handcuffs, lingerie to "personal massagers". This place has it all. Visit IG @thehiddenclosetbkk.

14. Go FOR some FUN

For those who look to explore hidden desires, Forfun, fetish fashion and accessories store, fulfils all types of fantasies and turns them into reality. The store is open by appointment only, so if you're interested in exploring the kinky side of sex, be sure to contact them on IG @forfunbangkok or forfun.store. NSFW.

Fetish fever

Curious about the edgier side of St Valentine's Day? Let's take a closer look at a few fetishes. We sat down with Tong, the owner of Forfun to get better acquainted with the world of fetishism.

What is a fetish to you?

Fetish is emotional and sexual love for things, body parts or certain activities that make sex more complete. It's a certain sexual taste. But, outside sexual context, it's a form of adoration for things, which could range from objects to body parts like feet and hands. The list goes on. And this adoration might stimulate sexual feelings in a person. At Forfun, we don't sell adult toys, in the sense that we don't sell imitations of body parts, but a lot of people consider that we sell adult toys because it helps stimulate and fulfil sexual emotions.

The word 'fetish' could even mean worship of an inanimate object for its magical powers, but when we talk about fetish as we're talking about right now, it's about liking something to such an extreme that it makes one so happy to have or to hold that thing in one's hands without any real reason to it. It's very varied. For example, some like to wear rubber suits and masks, they enjoy it without even having to do anything else. Some people have a fetish for uniforms or seeing women wearing boots, gloves and/or socks. It could be enjoyed alone or with a partner.

What do you need to consider when getting involved with fetishism?

What you need to consider is, if you have a fetish and you would like your partner to get involved with it, you need to communicate it and make them understand and ask if they consent to it. Some types of fetishism involve a level of danger or violence such as S&M or bondage, you need to obtain their consent and put their safety and that of your own first. It has to start with communication and understanding.

In the past, people often thought that those with a fetish were mentally ill, but these days medical science has improved and we have realised that this is just a sexual preference. If one does it with consent from the other party or without burdening anyone, then it's not a mental illness. They have to be aware of themselves, of how far their fetish has taken them, if they can exercise self-control and we can still reason with them, then it's normal. But, for example, if you're an exhibitionist and you flash in public when no one wants to see, then that's a problem.

Does it have to be between lovers?

No, society is so open now. Some people share their fetish with a buddy rather than sharing it with their lover or partner. That also begs the question, do their partners know? Do they consent to it? These are personal issues that are discussed privately between the parties. However, with anyone you choose to share your fetish with, you need to put their consent and safety and that of your own first.

Can it strengthen the bond of a relationship?

It's an added spiciness to sex; sex is just getting naked and having intercourse. It will rev up the excitement and stimulation in the relationship because you have no idea what surprises are in store. There's more of a mystery. It's like going back to being a teenager and learning about sex for the first time.

Tied up in love

One of the more fashionable art forms or fetishes is shibari aka Japanese bondage. We talked to Minor, a shibari rope master as she educated us on esoteric art.

What is shibari?

Shibari is understanding and accepting ourselves and others, both in the sense of using it as therapy, as emotional stimulation to create drive in life and as a response to the need for sexual violence. I've adapted shibari into an art and performance as a support for a particular set of truths and as entertainment. It also comprises skill, knowledge and experience that leads to wisdom under the social dynamics of the contemporary world. All this is done under the consideration of rights, liberty and consent of the subject.

Minor bonding her models with Shibari ropes. (Photos: Unnamedminor)

What are the key components of shibari?

Shibari is a very technical art so every single detail of tying someone up is very important. Consent and safety come first. Other things I need to consider are my feelings and that of the subject. I need to look out for their bodies and listen to safewords. It's not that we can use any type of rope, it has to be a shibari rope that is meant to tie humans. I need to interact with all of the tools in a delicate balance. The point is more about being the doer of the bondage and the receiver than about owning the other person or exercising power over them.

Does it have to be between lovers?

Shibari doesn't only have to happen between lovers. It's between two people who have the same love for bondage. When two people have the same taste, they don't have to be lovers to enjoy it, they can be friends or just acquaintances. Nowadays, there are so many types of love.

When it happens between lovers, what can it do for a relationship?

What we get from it is that we get to open our hearts and listen to each other about all things that we need to communicate directly. I usually say that the moment we are able to do shibari is when we have a partner that trusts us and we have learned it correctly. When you have a lover, do you talk to them about everything? It's impossible, even about your sexual preferences, sometimes you don't disclose it. With shibari, you need to say everything, what you like, what you don't, where it hurts, is this or that okay. The beauty that I see from it is it makes people trust each other with something that is dangerous. When it's between lovers, respecting each other's boundaries is very important in being together.

Love me, love my puppy

Couples may be already familiar with some forms of role-playing in the boudoir, but we bet most have never heard of puppy play, which is role-playing as a dog. Let's hear from Rakie about his experiences as a puppy.

What is puppy play?

It's a form of role-play where we leave yourselves behind and assume the identity of a doggy, playing like a dog, thinking like a dog, behaving like a dog. For example, I am a dog and I have an owner.

How does it make you feel?

It completes me in a way. When I was young I thought that dogs were so cute. I wanted to become a dog. As I grew up, I found this community and it feels really good to be a part of it because my life is kind of stressful, when I become a dog it feels like I get to be something else for a while. It helps restore balance in my life.

How did you find out about this community?

I found it on Twitter and I thought 'Wow! I never knew this existed'. It gradually started from there. My first few times playing a puppy, I was really excited yet shy. Even though I knew that deep down I really love doing it, having to become a puppy all of a sudden and do as another person says, it's kind of embarrassing. After a while, it gets better, I'm not as shy and I'm happier.

What are the important things you have to consider when doing puppy play?

Well, first of all, you need to have consent and safety. It's kind of the same as shibari bondage or other fetishes.

Is there always an element of sex in puppy play?

I think it depends. Some people don't have sex while engaging in puppy play at all, they just play. Some people get BDSM involved and some have sex because they like it like that.

Does it have anything to do with zoophilia?

I don't think so. When we do puppy play, everyone is fully aware that this is a human puppy. Zoophilia is a completely different thing.

Does puppy play have to only be between lovers?

It depends. I have a buddy whom I play with and my partner is completely separated from this. I let him know that this is what I'm into, but if he's not into it, I let him know that I have an outlet. It doesn't have to be with a partner or lover. It just has to be someone you trust.

If it were done between lovers, does it strengthen a relationship?

It makes the relationship sweeter, I think. With my partner, sometimes I do let out some puppy-like behaviour and sometimes it feels like the dynamic between us is cuter.

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