Occasionally on Saturday mornings, I grab my tote bag and wander down to my local independent coffee shop in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, to order an iced latte and sit outside and read. This seemingly normal activity supposedly marks me out as one of the latest talking points in the online culture war: “the performative male.”
The performative male is a new term for straight men who inauthentically engage in activities as a means of gaining clout on social media, coming across as progressive, or piquing the interest of members of the opposite sex that they take a fancy to.
According to the internet, recent examples of such activities include; ordering Matcha lattes, accessorizing with a Labubu, listening to Clairo, and reading high brow or feminist literature.
On the one hand, it is high time that men had their chops busted for being so awkwardly (and tragically) outside their traditional comfort zones, especially those using it simply to flirt. But at a time when gender equality has once again become contentious and precarious in America, is such a pile-on really helpful?
That’s a concern of Dr Juliet Williams, professor of gender studies at University of California, Los Angeles, whose specializations include feminist theory and masculinities studies.
“I'm not saying I think everybody's in there for pure motives, or higher motives, or even honest motives, but in the world of problems, the performative male is really not at the top of the list,” she tells The Independent.
Whether poking fun or not, she adds, the label is a “subtle expression of the broader, unquestionable backlash moment in which we're living – certainly in the United States, with the ascent of a poster boy for toxic masculinity as the president, and a whole new aesthetic of gender regression accompanying policy shifts.”
There’s no doubt that the more “traditional” and conservative values of the Trump administration, goaded on by figures including Joe Rogan, Andrew Tate and the rest of the so-called “Manosphere,” have led to a concerning resurgence of overt, anti-feminist rhetoric.
A recent study conducted by the Movember Institute of Men’s Health found that over two-thirds of young men in the UK, Australia and the U.S. engaged in content by male and masculinity influencers. Of those, approximately 80 percent thought men should be providers, leaders and bosses and 76 percent believed men should be heads of their families.
On Tuesday, responding to news that Taylor Swift had become engaged to her boyfriend Travis Kelce, MAGA influencer Charlie Kirk said he hoped getting married would “de-radicalize” the global megastar.
“Reject feminism. Submit to your husband, Taylor. You're not in charge,” he said on his show on Real America’s Voice.
Against such an incendiary background, Williams questions the point of undermining a man who has the “temerity” to show his alignment to a non-toxic form of masculinity.
“We should question the piling on – the ‘oh, well, it's just performance. It's just manipulating women.’ The motivation for undermining that is not necessarily coming from a feminist demand for greater authenticity,” she says. “It's coming at a moment when masculinity is really doubling down.”
I am aware when defending allegedly performative men from mockery that women have endured such ridicule for ages. The age-old tropes of women being asked to “name three songs” of the band whose t-shirt they’re wearing, or laughed at for expressing any sort of interest in sports, gaming, Star Wars or any other supposed male hobby are well-known and tired. The “pick me girl” moniker is mean and unhelpful.
However, Williams suggests that the label of “Performative Male”, may be counter-productive or even a set-back for changing male attitudes.
“Right now, the message men are going to be getting is, ‘well, I better stop saying I like Taylor Swift and I'm reading Bell Hooks and I believe in consent, because that's all associated with this performative male thing,’” Williams tells The Independent. “This is just the latest branding of any man that deigns to answer the feminist call.”
That is not to say that men who are ribbed a little online will instantly throw away their books and Labubu’ and join anti-women forums, but for those with more fragile egos it may run the risk of alienation or making them question their earnest attempts to connect with the opposite sex.
In a recent article by The Independent UK, dating and relationship coach Vicki Pavitt noted that suspicion over authenticity can act as a “protective filter” that helps avoid wasting time and effort, but that being too quick to dismiss such gestures might lead to lost opportunities for compatibility.
So while men should certainly not be given a cookies for just being vaguely thoughtful, perhaps bashing them for finally giving it a go is not the best approach either.
During the 1990s and into the 2000s Williams taught a gender studies class (then referred to as “women’s studies). She estimates class demographics were around 80 percent female, 15 percent gay men, and “a couple of frat boys” who would attend the class as a joke or to hang out with members of the opposite sex.
She welcomed those men.
“My attitude about that always was, getting you in the door is halfway to victory,” she says. “I know that they thought it was a joke.
“But you know what, they're in the classroom. If you're going to put a feminist book on your coffee table, throw on some rings and maybe even a splash of nail polish. You know what? It's going to change you. You're going to be on the right path.”
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