AN UNLIKELY DYNASTY
“At the moment I’m doing a lot of work with kids because kids are the way forward if we want the English game to continue improving.” So spake Subbuteo’s Shaun Wright-Phillips in 2013. And clearly he’s been as good as his word, as his very own kid, D’Margio, has just been called up to England’s Under-16s.
There is enough in football to make the actually quite old feel quite old – good pitches; multi-coloured boots; players who can run full tilt for 90 minutes without at any stage collapsing to the turf and sparking up a fag – but this is news to make the quite young feel quite old, it being only about half an hour since Shaun was but a tyro himself. And, to make matters worse, it is very hard to imagine a smaller version of Shaun Wright-Phillips without getting dizzy and needing a sit-down.
To give some kind of illustration of D’Margio’s youth, the earliest interview with him that the Fiver can find was published less than three years ago, following a meeting with the man who drew Bob the Builder, and went, in full: “I enjoyed the way he explained everything and how he drew the pictures.”
The Wrights are an unlikely dynasty, but there is no denying that this is now what they are. In senior English football only two of the last 32 years have not featured a member of the Wright clan, with Ian joining Crystal Palace in 1985 and Shaun leaving QPR in 2015, and now it seems it won’t be long before we see another one. But will he grow up to be a striker who terrorises defences just like grandpa or a winger who warms benches like dad?
“I’ve always told my kids that they can be whatever they want to be,” Shaun said, also in 2013. “I don’t expect my son to be a footballer, but if it’s what he wants I will do everything I can to help him succeed. I would never force my children into anything. It’s like me, I was never pressured. Football was all I knew, I grew up with it. It was a natural choice and that’s how I would like my kids to feel.” And so it came to pass. Dad Wright-Phillips hit a parenting bullseye there, sure enough. Fiver has digested this, learned our lesson, and would like to declare that, similarly, we don’t expect our children to marry into the royal family or to massively enrich themselves by callously purchasing a major retailer and then emptying its pension pot into their own pockets. Fingers crossed, that could be retirement sorted.
Of course we shouldn’t get too excited. After all, it’s less than a year since Christian Maldini, son of Paolo and grandchild of Cesare, was captaining Milan’s Under-19s and appearing to outsiders to be on course to emulate his father and grandfather and become an Italian great, and now he plays for Pro Sesto, seventh in the Serie D. Football can be an unpredictable business, but we’re sure that for D’Margio everything will be all Wright.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“My girlfriend suggested I gave it a go. Well, she said to me: ‘You’ve got to do it’ and she’s always showing me documentaries on it” – Jermain Defoe explains his unconventional conversion to veganism.
FIVER LETTERS
“Had I known you’d be bantering about my favourite songwriter Neil Finn I might’ve kept reading during the international break. It was the ultimate for me when, tongue-in-cheek and into some libations, I asked him on social media disgrace Twitter what he thought of the then-recent firing of Chip Kelly as head coach of American football’s Philadelphia Eagles. ‘He’ll have more time to spend with his family,’ Finn tweeted of the confirmed bachelor Kelly, proving conclusively that he could contribute to The Fiver if you need him” – Phil Keidel.
“Am I the only who thinks that those north of the Border are booing the wrong Chris Martin? I don’t remember the on-loan Fulham ‘star’ ripping off Yusuf Islam (aka Cat Stevens) or, for goodness sake, Joe Satriani (the court case was dismissed – Fiver lawyers)” – Noble Francis
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Phil Keidel!
RECOMMENDED LOOKING
David Squires on some Great British own goals. Oh, and article 50.
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BITS AND BOBS
Liverpool’s Adam Lallana is out for up to four weeks with thigh-twang suffered on international duty.
Portugal’s Madeira International Airport has been renamed Him Airport in honour of the Real Madrid forward. He was born in nearby Funchal.
Shanghai Shenhua’s Hongkou Stadium has suffered fire-knack after a blaze at the ground though no injuries were reported.
No one knows what’s No1 in the charts any more – we assume it’s something by popular beat combo Shed Seven – but Chelsea know who’s No1 on their summer shopping list – Arsenal’s Alexis Sánchez.
The under-pressure Socceroos took a significant bound towards the 2018 World Cup with a 2-0 win over UAE.
An independent inquiry into Millwall’s CPO deal has – like the Ghostbusters after emptying a trap into the containment unit – been given the green light.
Lionel Messi, despite being Not That Sort of Player, has been banned for four international matches after insulting an assistant referee during Argentina’s win over Chile last week.
STILL WANT MORE?
Emma Clarke, who was playing in the 1890s, has been established as Britain’s first black female footballer. Anna Kessel reveals her remarkable story.
Test your knowledge of football songs with this quiz … about football songs.
Smaller-sided matches are getting more popular. Richard Foster gets to grips with the tiny pitches making big strides.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
