There’s no better way to celebrate autumn’s bounty than by turning it into a nostalgic game. There are an estimated 470,000 horse chestnut trees in the UK. Their fruits harden and drop in September and October. Hardcore players are already toughening their conkers for this month’s world championships in Northamptonshire. According to St John Burkett, one of the organisers of the championships – a 50-year-old event attracting 400 players – there’s an art to picking the right conker. You need it to be nice and round (flat-edged ones break too easily) and of medium size (too big and you risk weakness, too small and you risk missing your target).
Much of the pleasure of conkers is in the preparation. “Even just collecting them is a joy,” says Burkett. “Sometimes they look so beautiful that it’s hard to even think about drilling holes in them.” What about toughening them up? “It’s not really on – unless you’ve pre-agreed that your rules allow it,” he says. If you have, you might try soaking it in vinegar (this softens the conker so the shell is less likely to crack), scooping out the middle and filling it with glue or even getting a pig to swallow it whole so the gastric juices toughen it up en route to the animal’s backside. A more purist approach is to simply bore a hole through the middle with a meat skewer, string it on to a shoelace no longer than 20cm long (otherwise accuracy becomes difficult) and work on your technique.
Some players opt for a “downward smash” – a hard vertical swing that tries to break their opponent’s conker in one. Others go for the “side swipe” – a gentler but more accurate sideways swing intended to gradually weaken the conker by cracking it open.
“Both techniques are good, but they need practise,” says Burkett. So don’t expect to just rock up at the tournament and smash it. “Unless you know what you’re doing,” Burkett warns, “you’ll just end up swinging your conker into your own forearm.”
The World Conker Championships are on 11 October at Southwick, near Oundle, Northamptonshire www.worldconkerchampionships.com
