Every couple fights. Disagreements are a normal part of sharing a life. However, there is a vast difference between a fight and manipulation. Specifically, gaslighting is a unique form of emotional abuse. Unfortunately, it makes you question your own sanity. In fact, it is subtle, insidious, and dangerous. Often, you might leave the argument feeling crazy. But rest assured, you are not crazy. In reality, you are being played. Here are five signs to watch for.
Denying Reality Outright
He will say, “I never said that.” Moreover, he says it with total conviction. As a result, you start to doubt your memory. Indeed, this is the cornerstone of gaslighting. Essentially, he rewrites history to suit his narrative. Yet, even if you have proof, he denies it. Surprisingly, he might even get angry that you are accusing him. Therefore, trust your memory. Simply put, if it happened, it happened.
Shifting the Blame
Imagine you confront him about his behavior. Suddenly, the conversation is about your reaction. For example, he says, “I wouldn’t have done that if you weren’t so nagging.” By doing so, he makes you the villain. Clearly, this is a deflection tactic. In other words, he refuses to take accountability. Instead, he forces you to apologize for his mistakes. Please, do not accept the blame for his actions. Ultimately, you are responsible only for you.
Trivializing Your Feelings
First, he tells you that you are “too sensitive.” Then, he laughs at your tears. Or, he claims you are making a big deal out of nothing. Sadly, this behavior minimizes your emotional experience. However, your feelings are valid data. Dismissing them is a power move. Actually, it teaches you to suppress your emotions. Conversely, a loving partner seeks to understand, not dismiss. So, do not let him shrink your reality.
Circular Conversations
Unfortunately, the argument never resolves. It goes in circles until you are exhausted. Frequently, he uses word salad to confuse you. Also, he might bring up irrelevant past issues. Fundamentally, the goal is to wear you down. Eventually, you agree just to make it stop. To be clear, this is not conflict resolution; it is attrition. Therefore, if you feel dizzy after a fight, spot the pattern.
Withholding Affection as Punishment
At times, he gives you the silent treatment. For instance, he refuses to touch you or look at you. Psychologically, this is known as stonewalling. It creates immense anxiety and fear. Basically, he is training you. He wants you to fear his withdrawal. Consequently, you stop bringing up issues. This is emotional blackmail. After all, love should not be held hostage.
Trust Your Perception
You are not crazy; in fact, you are being manipulated. Ideally, arguments should aim for a solution, not submission. However, if you recognize these signs, pay attention. Remember, your sanity is worth more than the relationship. So, stand firm in your reality. Above all, do not let anyone turn off your inner light.
Have you ever experienced these tactics in an argument? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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The post If He Does These 5 Things During an Argument, He Is Gaslighting You appeared first on Budget and the Bees.
