Ian Wright

Mark Boyd captures the moment when Ian finally grew tired of being the Match of the Day jester. "But I'm funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?" Photograph: x

Adrian Moore kicks off the inevitable. "I imagine you'll get a fair few along these lines," he notes, sagely Photograph: x

"The BBC got a lousy deal from the Match of the Day/Gladiators exchange programme," guffaws Sean Kearney Photograph: x

"'Clean Lineker's Ears' became an instant favourite on the re-launched show," parps Lord Leaburn, bringing the funny back Photograph: x

"The BBC are struggling to find a suitable replacement to join their entertainments team," honks surrealist Alex Bozic Photograph: x

Mark Fallon stumbled across a meeting of great minds at the local greasy spoon. "At the end of the day, it's all about bouncebackability," Des Lynam tells our hero Photograph: x

David Cattell is worried about irresponsible users editing online encyclopedia entries Photograph: x

You thought we were done with all the Gladiators entries didn't you? "Ian realises his unique blend of insight, humour and passion is by no means unique," sniggers Clem Halpin Photograph: x

"Wrighty could hardly believe his luck when Alan Hansen agreed to take part in Celebrity Gladiators," chuckles John Mosedale Photograph: x

John Barry reckons Ian's just looking forward to coming clean about his lycra fetish Photograph: x

While Howard Jones brings us to a close with a disturbing vision of the future. "The Beeb decide it's time to get serious on our arses," he chortles Photograph: x