Secrets Of The Royal Babies: Meghan And Harry, ITV
★★
Over on ITV, Prince Harry was looking decidedly unsure of his surroundings and dribbling at the mouth.
No, ITV hadn’t unearthed some unseen mobile phone clips of one of his big nights out.
It was simply archive film of his christening. It wasn’t secret footage though.
We’d seen it loads of times before – almost as many times as we’d seen and heard everything else in this documentary.
That’s the trouble with babies. They’re not really big on secrets.
Well, unless there is disputed parentage or a hidden health issue – and ITV clearly wasn’t going to go there in this fluffy royal sucking-up exercise.
Instead, it filled the hour with guessing games about Harry and Meghan’s impending arrival.
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Like happy babies filling a fresh nappy, royal expert after royal expert spewed forth predictions, every last one of which could have been followed by the caveat “equally he/she/they/it might not”.
Meghan might have pain relief. Harry might do yoga in the delivery suite.
The godparents might be Hollywood stars.
Harry and Meghan might hire a full-time nanny. The baby might wear dungarees (!). Meghan might buckle under the strain. Harry might take parenting tips from William.
Then, just when you thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous, the experts started predicting the gender of the baby.
Without wishing to let the cat out of the bag, I should tell you that the word boy was mentioned - as was the word girl.
Keep it under your hats though, eh?
