★★★★
Without even getting into why Jonathan Ross appeared to have formed his hair into some sort of Terry Wogan tribute, Saturday was a baffling night for viewers.
Conspiracy theorists may have loved that erratic scoring from the judges on Strictly Come Dancing. I just wondered why the BBC was trying to make us angry with a show we adore.
Then we had tough guy actor Danny Dyer talking cockney and balls as a game show host on BBC1’s The Wall.
Dyer’s approach to presenting appeared to be that shouting and posturing is a substitute for drama. You can take the man out of EastEnders, etc.
However, in terms of outright randomness, nothing came close to what Simon Cowell gave us on ITV.
As far as I could tell, he had invited a load of famous mates – and Sinitta – to an LA garden party so they could all gawp at some unfamiliar faces doing karaoke by the water feature.
This was The X Factor: Celebrity. A surprise addition to the schedules given that, following 2006’s disastrous X Factor: Battle Of The Stars, Cowell promised he’d never do another celebrity version.
Then again, looking at this cast list, maybe he is a man of his word.
Cowell kicked off the fun – and it was, surprisingly, a lot of fun – by telling his guests: “I do not have a clue who is turning up tonight.”
Yes, Simon.
And when they did turn up, most of the viewers had no clue either.
