Party planning can be really fun - especially when it's for a big event and you've got lots of people coming round to your house to admire your hard work. Having your home host to your ex's 40th birthday party, which is also on New Year's Eve, probably doesn't sound ideal to the majority of people.
That's the awkward predicament one woman found herself in. She took to Mumsnet to ask whether she was being unfair by not wanting her ex to have a big party in the house they used to share - but only she was living there permanently. He then went on to accuse her of 'hogging' the house after she refused.
She said: "Me and my ex separated in the summer and he moved out into a house share. I’ve stayed (temporarily) in family home with my children but can’t afford to live here so am in the process of moving out (as soon as I can) but that won’t happen until January.
"He earns way more than me so can afford to keep on the house. Ex is still paying his share of the mortgage and bills (well, he hasn’t this month but that’s the arrangement anyway!).
"It's his 40th on New Year's eve and he’s asked to have a party in the family home. I have said no because I don’t think it's appropriate.
"My reasoning (in no particular order): It would be me doing all the pre-tidying (my children have a lot of toys!!). He’s got a new bunch of single friends who like to party - I used to partake in all that, but I don’t want it going on in my and my children's house when I’m not there.
"He’s got a new girlfriend (he doesn’t know that I know) so when I said 'I assume I’m not invited' he said 'oh, erm, yeah you can come' so how’s THAT going to work out?!
"I feel like it’ll be a bunch of strangers (I do know some of them) getting wasted in my house (and where are he and his girlfriend going to sleep, in my bed?!?!) which I’m not comfortable with.
"His reasoning: He’s still contributing to the house so he should be able to use it too. His words: I am ‘hogging’ the house. Am I being unreasonable to say no to the party?"
Other Mumsnetters were horrified that he'd even suggested having a party in the home that his children live in.
One wrote: "He can have as many parties as he wants in the house - once you have moved out."
Another fumed: "He's being a d***. It's your children's home, not some student digs with p***** idiots passing out on the sofa."
Someone else raged: "No. No. It's your home, not his anymore. I would invite your friends round to your home, and have your own party!"
"That would be a no from me; part of me can see his point as he is contributing so the house is half his but it’s not a fair position to put you in when you are the one living there", a Mumsnetter sympathised.
What would you do in this situation? Let us know in the comments.
