What are patients thinking of me when I am running late? I often wonder. If our patients knew more about us and the personal sacrifices that we make as doctors, would it reassure them that we genuinely try our best for them?
Since qualifying, my husband, who is also a doctor, and I, have seen our non-medical friends accelerate past us with regards financial security and life stability. During the last 10 years, while working as a trainee surgeon and trainee GP, I have worked in 12 different hospitals and GP practices stretching from Edinburgh to Slough to Melbourne, Australia. The current structure means that junior doctors are constantly planning and applying for their next job. For a single, 24-year-old this is not too problematic, but as a 35-year-old mother, it becomes a logistical nightmare.
Life events such as meeting a partner, developing a relationship and buying a home are made so much more challenging by career uncertainty. In addition to training requirements, we also pursue posts in particular hospitals to gain specific skills, whether that be elsewhere in the UK or abroad. A friend of mine is a breast surgeon; his wife is an eye surgeon and they have two small children. He has been working 180 miles from home for the last year. Why? So he can develop skills in breast reconstruction for cancer surgery and offer the best techniques to his patients. In the meantime, his wife juggles two toddlers, with shift work and the general daily stress of trying to save people’s sight. I suspect, however, that not one of his many patients would guess what they are doing as a family behind the scenes to optimise their care.
Though we all aspire to get a permanent position in the vicinity of family, invariably there is ongoing impact on them. Doctors are frequently the absent parents on sports day or the school play, and often work weekends while others have family time. We have to miss weddings, christenings and even funerals because of work and when we do make it to social events we are often late and distracted.
So why do we do this job? It’s simple. We think we have the best job in the world.
We work hard and it’s not always easy but we feel that we make a difference to people’s lives. We are present at people’s lowest ebbs and highest points and at every milestone along the way. I am in such a privileged position that patients tell me things that they have told no one else when I may have only met them two minutes prior. Every day at work is different and you never know what’s around the corner. And the inevitable impact on our children? Like most medical parents, I do have an underlying guilt that I am not always there for them but I hope that they will grow up to respect my choices and benefit from our example as hard-working parents.
So why am I writing this article? For sympathy? For gratitude? Certainly not. I actually believe that many of my non-medical peers missed a trick by not opting for the same career path as me. I am also under no illusion that doctors work harder than many other professionals who make similar sacrifices. I simply want people to understand more about their doctors and the kind of people we are. If you find yourself sitting in A&E, complaining about the four hours you have waited or feel aggrieved by the GP who has no appointments for three weeks, think about the people behind the job. The type of people who are willing to accept the lifestyle described above generally only do it because of their aspirations to be the best doctor they can be. If we make a mistake, which we all do at some point, we try to be outwardly professional but we are inwardly devastated.
Ultimately, if we didn’t have commitment and passion for our work then we wouldn’t survive the trials that it throws at us and we wouldn’t be in front of you now.
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