Deciding where to send your child to school can be difficult – made even harder by ever-changing government policy. First academies were all the rage and now there’s talk of bringing back grammar schools in England. So where’s best – a comprehensive, a free school or even a private one (if you can afford it)?
We asked parents to tell us what they decided, and whether – with hindsight – they had any regrets.
‘I sent my child to a private school, but regret it’
Anita, 45, from Hampshire
I sent my child to a private school, a decision I regret because I believe in state education. In fact, I actually work for a state school. My husband works in private education and we had to move recently as he got a job. My daughter was going into year 10 at the time, and the only state school in the area was not very good. We had little choice but to pay fees at my husband’s new school. We felt that moving our daughter from a high-performing grammar to a failing state comprehensive would have been too much of a leap. It’s disappointing, but the only schools in our catchment area are failing, so I’m stuck between my principles and wanting the best for my kids.
Our children are now at his current school with class sizes that run to a maximum of 20. They are both happy in their school, though my daughter (who is in year 11) has said on numerous occasions that she is looking forward to being back in the state sector when she goes to sixth form college next year.
The reason I am pro-state education is that I am naturally a Labour supporter. The children of the wealthier people in this country have huge advantages over everyone else; there is still an old boys’ network at work and the advantages that they get as a result of the schools they go to are huge. By sending my children to a private day school (with a small staff bursary) instead of to our local comprehensive, which was recently graded as inadequate by Ofsted, I know I’m doing something to help their future but I’m in a privileged position and yes, it does make me sad. Education has become a bit of a postcode lottery, particularly in our area.
‘I regret sending my children to an academy because of the poor pastoral care’
Alicia, 55 from London
Two of my older children attended an academy, and the other two younger ones attended non-academies. Choosing a school was very difficult and for the older two I was swayed by popular middle-class opinion about academies. My sons both sat entrance exams to make sure intake was balanced across the ability ranges (there was some scepticism about this among families). I regret sending my older sons to the academy, neither particularly flourished there. The pastoral care was poor and the results-driven ethos meant my sons were steered towards subjects that suited the school more than them. One of my sons was much better off after he moved for sixth form because it was much less formal and “grammar school-y”. He fitted in better and the teaching was engaging, collaborative and student-focused. He managed to get an A in English language, a subject he opted into reluctantly at the last-minute and which thought would turn him off, because it was brilliantly taught by a skilful teacher.
I never considered moving schools as it never reached crisis point with either child and I thought the disruption would outweigh any benefit, but in retrospect I think the atmosphere of pressure was bad for both children. What I disliked most about these specific academies was their lack of focus on students’ best interests compared to the reputation of the school. For example, the school I sent my boys to had a deservedly excellent reputation for music, but to be in the orchestra you had to be of a very high standard – this favoured privileged kids who’d achieved high grades in external music exams. There were a few inspirational teachers, who I believe would have performed equally well in any school, and a lot of stressed-out automatons who were as worried for their reputations as the kids were for theirs.
‘I sent my children to a comprehensive and have no regrets’
Lee, 42
I attended a grammar that was a brutal and miserable place. I was determined not to inflict that on my kids. My wife attended a comprehensive and had a much more diverse and engaging education. She also did just as well as me academically, and had many of the same opportunities that were supposedly unique to my school.
I have no regrets about sending my kids to a comprehensive. I have three teenagers who are all very different but are thriving in a diverse and inclusive environment. The school regularly sends students to Oxbridge, but works hard to ensure the less able get good results too. It’s very far removed from the divisive and elitist attitude of my school, and what I see coming from it are happy, well adjusted and frequently very successful kids. My own experience had made me convinced that grammars are a divisive anachronism and their reintroduction has to be opposed.
‘We saw an unfair difference between the state and grammar system’
Amber, from Amersham
I had three children who, back in the 1970s, sat the 11-plus. One of them got into a grammar school and the other two did not. We tried very hard to make sure that the others did not feel disadvantaged but we were very aware of the different education our children were receiving. I live in Amersham, Buckinghamshire, where we still have the same system in place, in spite of a parental referendum to stop the 11-plus which was ignored. The per capita expenditure was also weighted heavily in favour of the grammar school students which is quite unfair.
‘I wish my children had got into the local state school’
Laura Joseph, 41 from Bristol
We applied to our three local state schools – they are all good. However, we didn’t get any offers, which was very disappointing. Instead, we got a place at a school a bit further away – one that didn’t have a great reputation – so instead chose to pay to send our child to a local Steiner school. It’s very different to how I was educated: I went to my local comprehensive. Steiner schools do not believe in formal learning; there’s no national curriculum. It’s a homely setting, so they do baking bread, and there’s smaller classes. There are also no screens – so, no children sitting around using iPads. The children also don’t get set homework. I never thought I’d send my child to an alternative school, but there are many benefits to their approach. It’s very creative. It was a big disappointment, however, not getting into any of our local schools. I wanted my children to go to them partly for practical reasons (it’s easy to get to) but also because of the sense of community they offered. One of the schools, which is actually on our street, is attended by lots of our neighbours and it would have been nice for the kids to be part of that.
Did you get it right? Share your stories below the line.
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Some names have been changed.
