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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Saffron Otter

'I went out every night for a week to finally test if I'm an introvert or extrovert'

The Christmas party season is finally upon us - a time to let your hair down over the festive period in celebration of another year drawing to a close. Work dos, family gatherings, and friendship reunions are customary in December, but it can make your social calendar appear overwhelming.

If like me, you're wondering if you'll have the energy, both mentally and physically, for it all, then it could be wise to determine whether you're an 'introvert' or an 'extrovert' before you pull out your sparkly jumper. The concept has long been debated, with extroverts typically being seen as outgoing, socially confident people while introverts are seen as someone who is shy, quiet, and prefers to spend time alone.

But boundaries expert Michelle Elman argues that just because someone is shy doesn't mean they're introverted, and vice versa, so it's not that simple. And she says it's important to know which personality type you are - in order to figure out how to replenish your energy.

She told the Mirror: "If you know whether you are an introvert or extrovert, it can be a really beneficial tool for self-awareness".

Could I cope with pints on a Monday? (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

I've always been pretty outgoing, up for trying new things and meeting friends, so I had considered myself an extrovert for many years. But I found being in lockdown for two years changed things.

There was once a time I felt fearful over going for a walk with a friend outside of my 'bubble', and living in the north meant I had more stringent guidelines to follow for around 18 months,

So when we were coming out of the pandemic rules and things started to get back to normal, I kept finding that I couldn't pack too many social occasions into my diary in a short space of time.

I kept saying I was busy when I probably could have made it, but I felt like it was important to preserve my time, even though I nothing to do. I initially found meeting people exhausting but slowly adjusted as I got used to being out and about again.

Now as we're officially in 2022's party season, I wanted to test once and for all if I am in fact an introvert or an extrovert. To find out, I went out every evening of the working week to see how I'd feel - all in the name of journalism.

Ahead of beginning the mammoth task, I prepared for it by sending a few texts asking people to meet me, and it was actually easier to arrange than I thought it would be.

Here is how I got on, with some explanation from expert Michelle that can hopefully help you determine your personality type...

Could I cope with pints on a Monday? (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Monday

Before this experiment, I wouldn't have dreamt of making plans for after work on a Monday and didn't expect my friend to agree to meet me either.

To keep things cheap, we headed to the pub for a few (half) pints. It was raining in Manchester, obviously, so a part of me was secretly hoping my friend would bail before setting off (no offence to my date).

But actually, I enjoyed having something to look forward to and once I got there, the mundane Monday blues soon disappeared.

Because it felt so out of the ordinary, it felt more fun being out socialising and actually gave me a boost.

I'd even go as far as to say it felt like I'd been productive with my time instead of sitting on the sofa, and once home, felt content for the week ahead.

Tuesday

On Tuesday, I prised myself back on the bus to head into town again, this time for some exercise.

I don't go to the gym in solitary, but I do enjoy an exercise class - which could again say something about my personality.

Knowing it takes place every week, it can be easy to find an excuse not to go if I'm feeling a bit sluggish, but this week I was determined.

But instead of running straight out the door once we finished, I asked a friend to join me for tea.

We got some halloumi gyros from a Greek food stand we always walk by and often comment on how good it smells, so I was pleased to finally make the effort to try it.

I find myself walking back to the bus stop with a spring in my step, feeling energised and elevated.

Wednesday

Traditionally known as hump day, I'm halfway through the week.

Even though I've only been out two nights, it feels like I've done so much and feels like it should be already Friday. (I really do need to get out more...)

I've chosen to meet a friend I haven't seen in months and we set our sights on a new place to eat - and even better, it's half-price on food - a discount I definitely wouldn't have come across if I'd have just stuck to going out on a Friday or Saturday night as usual.

Not too far from home, I can walk back which means I'm in at the reasonable time of 9pm.

But once home, I flop straight onto the sofa.

I needed that bit of time to decompress and just sit alone for a while to unwind before I go to sleep.

Was the excitement of conversation and cocktails a bit too much?

Thursday


When Thursday comes around, I'm feeling a bit sorry for the old colleague I'm set to meet as by this point I'm flagging.

I'd arrange for us to do something upbeat though, with bowling - an activity I haven't done for years and it turns out I'm definitely out of practice.

My friend, not from the area, struggles to park and is a bit lost, so I'm at the bowling alley alone as our designated time slot begins, which makes it even more tempting to turn back around and instead go binge some TV in bed (sorry friend).

Thankfully he appears and we survive the game and later grab a bite to eat to catch up.

But it doesn't end there as when it comes to hometime, we can't find his car as he actually isn't sure how he got from the car park to meet me.

It takes us about 40 minutes to locate it after walking around in circles, and by this point, we're both feeling tired - but have found it hilarious.

I'm not sure I can judge my energy levels fairly after this one but it was an evening to remember that I otherwise would have missed out on had I not made the effort.

Friday

It's the last day of the working week and is usually when I'd most be feeling up to go out and socialise, and tonight is no different.

I head to a food festival with my boyfriend, which is packed with crowds, but at least the conversation is easy for my final day of the test.

After fuelling, we head to a historic cinema showing a special screening of the Godfather.

I didn't quite think it through, sitting in a dark room for one of the longest films made after a busy week.

After an hour in, I could nod off. Is it me or the film?

Over the course of the five days, I realised I do feel energised being around people and friends so I guess I am an extrovert, although I wouldn't recommend any extrovert to make plans every evening, and as Michelle later explains, we all need a bit of time to recuperate.

While I certainly don't have the money or the organisational skills to keep this up, I can now admit I may have been a bit lazy in the past when it comes to arranging plans.

After my little trial, I can firmly say that I'm excited to be going out in the Christmas party season, ready to mingle for the first festive period in what has felt like a long time after scuppered plans in previous years - but will be passing on every night.

What about you?

Are you going hard this party season? (Getty Images)

Michelle, who is a five-board accredited life coach, boundaries expert and author of The Joy Of Being Selfish, wants to demystify the two personality terms.

"For years there has been so much misunderstanding around the term extroversion and introversion that we have even started calling some people extroverted introverts. If you look at the definition of the word, it doesn't actually make sense," Michelle begins.

"This is a term to describe people who are sociable, like a party but also need time alone. The reason why this term has gained popularity is because it describes most people in the world.

"Most people at some point need to be alone and most people at some point will interact with other humans and enjoy it.

"Why this term shouldn't be used though is because it distorts the actual meaning of the word introversion and extroversion and spreads its misuse.

"Introversion and extroversion is about how you display in a social setting and actually, you can't tell which someone is from the outside because it's about how you replenish your energy when you are exhausted.

"Are you the kind of person who needs to be around friends or do you get energy from being around people and around friends?

"The misunderstanding is that people assume that talkative, sociable and outgoing people are extroverts and shy and quiet are introverts. It's the stereotype of the person in the corner and it's not only not accurate but it's not correlated in the slightest. You can be shy and be an extrovert. You can be talkative and an introvert.

"Another term that has been used is ambivert which describes people who change between the two.

"Whilst this might be a term people identify with, even within extroversion and introversion, it is a spectrum and you can move up and down. For example, many within the pandemic would have adapted to the increase in alone time and therefore might require more quiet to recuperate nowadays."

And why is it important to determine for yourself between the two?

Michelle explains: "If you know whether you are an introvert or extrovert, it can be a really beneficial tool for self-awareness.

"One is not better or worse than the other, it's about self-awareness to know and understand yourself and also to respect that other people might not need what you need when you are tired.

"In the future, they will know how to restore their fuel tank and they will also understand the importance of doing so and not letting us run ourselves ragged."

Do you have a story to share? Please get in touch at webfeatures@trinitymirror.com.

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