LAST night, I stuck on the latest episode of The Simpsons that everyone is talking about. It’s a romance, set in Scotland and called Ae Bonnie Romance…
The storyline follows Groundskeeper Willie, probably the most familiar representation of Scots to Americans (after an Australian William Wallace of course).
The episode begins with a PE lesson that will “test your physical and emotional endurance. I speak of … social dancing”, and this leads to Willie imparting wisdom to Bart about heartbreak and “lassies” that he learnt in his youth in Scotland.
A bromance montage and TikTok follows, as they bond over their anger towards love, and the next day, Willie calls Bart in need of help from Edinburgh as hands grab him and the call cuts off.
Bagpipes heard: 1
Castle: 1
Bart persuades the rest of the family to fly to Edinburgh to save the janitor. Homer readily accepts as he wants to avoid going to a destination wedding in the Poconos he and Marge were invited to. The family fly with the airline Planespotting.
Bagpipes heard: 2
Stopping at a distillery Bart recognises from the video call, Willie is found, and he’s with Maisie. His long-lost love, played by Karen Gillan, has a stronger Scots accent and vocabulary than most Scots (Bawbag: 1), ginger hair that would make Merida jealous, and isn’t seen without a bit of tartan the whole episode.
Marge is ecstatic at the idea of a destination wedding as they are told the story of Willie and Maisie, or a “peat cute” - set on a moor - after we learn Willie is a dab hand at smelling out the best peat bogs.
Bagpipes: 3
Shovelling peat: 1
We are told Maisie’s family disapproved of the match and that is what tore them apart. Willie is seen sailing over the sea to America, and Maisie reveals she found her love when she saw Bart’s bromance TikTok.
Willie is welcomed home with a haggis.
Haggis: 1
We then follow Lisa as she goes on a tour of Edinburgh. The middle Simpsons child ate a Scotch egg, rubbed the toe of David Hume, climbed the Wallace Monument, and visited the Fringe.
We see her interact with a street show, A Ticket Booth when asking for a ticket to Musical: A play.
Elsewhere, Homer and Marge join the other wedding guests for a “love hike” through the seven hills of Edinburgh, with Homer wanting some “FREE TIME!”
Braveheart reference: 1
Castle: 2
The other “cute” wedding activities include a haggis cooking class and a bachelor party with strippers – sheep being sheered.
Haggis: 2
The wedding rehearsal goes ahead in a castle I’ve never seen in Edinburgh.
Castle: 3
Belle and Sebastian! The band plays as guests dawn tartan to dance and Bart ponders if the love Maisie shows Willie is real.
Maisie states some lines, which are not meant to be understood, about their love story, leading Marge to be upset at Homer’s lack of fun at the wedding.
Their fight leads them to shouting at each other, Homer’s voice echoing, and we are shown the Edinburgh crags, again confirming it is Edinburgh, and again confusing me as to where this castle is.
But then we pan to the Wallace Monument, the Forth Road Bridge, and back to the Fringe.
Where are we!?!
Elsewhere, we see Maisie’s family – played by actors David Tennant and Paul Higgins - conspiring over a dram for Willie to sniff out the best peat and make their distillery rich, before they get rid of him – and Bart overhears.
Wee sleekit, coorin', timorous beastie: 1
Marge is reminded of her love for Homer after he sends her a viral video of a dolphin and gorilla being friends (I don’t know) and she runs out of the wedding.
Bagpipes heard: 4
We see them reconcile and have sex on St Andrew’s Golf Course (don’t do this).
The course sign is animated as falling apart but described as the "best golf course in the world". Is this a dig at Scotland’s golf standing?
I can’t really tell you, and I can’t really tell you if the wedding goes ahead, that’d be spoilers.
What I can tell you is the episode is, at times, a scarily accurate presentation of Scotland, even if the geography is unbelievably off.
The Fringe, likely somewhere the episode’s writers have been, is perfectly portrayed, and when in Edinburgh, the animation is pretty great.
But, no wonder tourists arrive in Edinburgh expecting the Highlands to be a 20-minute drive away, or better yet, right outside their hotel room ...
And the accents, well fair.
The Simpsons is available to stream on Disney Plus in the UK.
