So I finally understand what it must be like to be one of those poor lorry drivers in that awful port? As in not literally, because we do not live by the sea but every time I open a door I do not know if it will be rushed by another desperate immigrant? And of course your first instinct is to go WTF are you doing here, then you see the pleading in their eyes & realise how brave of them to make the journey from many thousands of miles away & the next thing you do not know how you managed without them? So we already have Mr Cobber helping us, and the Messina one, appaz he was something quite important back home, now he just goes on about iPads, and we have just got another, called Lex, or Tex, whatever, he is a keen worker & now he says we must only talk about the economy, which would be fine except Dave always takes everything so literally? I will be like, OK bye I am going to the British Fashion Awards catch you later, Dave will be like, babes, you do realise that without our long term economic plan there would be no fashion, Rex here says that if Balls had his way, all your Cara Delevingnes and Alexa Chungs would literally starve, oh wait.
So IRL, God, the awards were beyond emosh, as in literally John Galliano #srslyawkward? Everyone was going omigod is that who I think it is, do we talk to him, can anyone remember what he did, was it unpaid parking tickets or just taxes? Then we realised Anna was openly WEARING Galliano *takes a moment* I mean literally *dries eyes* it was like Jesus and, like, the leper, only even more public, obvs. So Galliano presented Anna with the Coco Chanel award for international relations, everyone was crying, appaz she saved him after his sari nearly fell down at the Met Ball & he became a fash outcast, people actually taunted him in bars? Afterwards I was like Dave, can’t we DO something for sari victims, we can’t all have an Anna to help us, he’s like, that is nothing, if Labour gets its hands on the economy everyone will soon be walking around naked :(((
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