Since the first tourist posted on Tripadvisor about “rip-off prices”, DK Oyster has had almost as many bad reviews as there are grains of sand on Platis Gialos.
The restaurant, on the Greek island of Mykonos, markets itself as “a high-end destination for discerning travellers seeking a relaxing seclusion”.
But reviews (now more than 2,000) criticise the beach bar for its surly service and habit of overcharging customers. It now has a 2.1 rating, making it the region’s most notorious eatery.
“I was charged €600 (£520) for two mojitos and two crab claws,” one French reviewer complains. An American family writes: “We ordered appetisers and five drinks… the bill was €1,500 (£1,300).”
I decided to visit the taverna to find out if the comments were justified.
First, though, to get an idea of prices at its competitors, I take a stroll along the boardwalk. Although sunbeds cost around €30-€50 (£25-£45) for two, the beach is fairly full.
Speaking Greek is a definite advantage when you’re scoping out tavernas in Mykonos. But even then, the promenade is a pretty toxic place.
“Malaka! (w***er!)” one waiter says under his breath as I walk away after explaining, in English, that I’m just browsing but might eat later.
“Fae skata kai psofa! (eat sh** and die!)” another one mutters, after I decline to answer where I’m from.
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I then come across Anios Taverna, which has a solid 4.4 on Tripadvisor. Prices are fairly reasonable by Mykonian standards: moussaka is €22 (£19), pizzas start at €15 (£13) and lobster costs €120 (£100) per kilo. But it would still add up to a hefty bill for a family of four.
I ask one of the touts if he has heard of DK Oyster’s bad reviews.
“Of course!” he says. “They behave the old-fashioned way, as if the internet doesn’t exist, but now Tripadvisor is catching up with them.”
He tells me that it’s been a lousy season for Mykonos. “There’s nobody here. Blame it on fires, earthquakes and Trump.”
Tourist arrivals are reportedly down by around 15 per cent this year. Analysts suggest that potential visitors have been dissuaded by reports of overcrowding and inflated hotel prices.
Many staple dishes – including the once-affordable choriatiki, or Greek salad – have tripled in price.
“Greeks have been priced out of what was once their favourite holiday destination and foreign tourists are heading for Turkey or Spain where they’ll get more things for less,” a shopkeeper says.
For a “high-end destination”, DK Oyster is surprisingly low-key. I have visions of Kalashnikov-toting guards at the entrance, so I walk past a hole-in-the-wall taverna several times before realising it is the place I’m looking for.
I expect to be lured inside, but the bored-looking cashier carries on cleaning his nails and the table-tout stares out at the sunbeds.
The small black menu, on display outside the taverna, reminds me of the notices Greek people put up when someone dies.
Perhaps it’s apt. The exorbitant prices – €44 (£40) for a chicken club sandwich, €19 (£16) for a portion of fries, €298 (£260) per kilo for lobster pasta – could easily give you a heart attack.
It’s a lot more expensive than other places along the strip and I struggle to find something to order on my self-imposed €50 (£44) budget. In the end, I order a cappuccino (€10, or £8.60) and a plate of scrambled eggs (€13, or £11.20).
The cappuccino comes in what looks like an egg cup, but the egg, served on pita bread with a salad, is big enough to feed two.
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Staked out in the corner of the taverna, I watch the commotion on the sunbeds opposite. An Italian couple dressed in matching Gucci order mojitos, and then order two more, without asking to see the menu.
At €58 (£50) each, I imagine they’ll have a nasty surprise when they ask for the bill.
Another couple order smoothies and two plates of king crab pasta, again without asking to see the menu. Checking it for them, I see that their snack will set them back €430 (£370). It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion.
“I call it the Mykonos effect,” confides Eva, who has a house near the beach. “People come here and they want to pretend they’re millionaires or pop stars, so they start ordering without looking at the price of things. I see it a lot.”
When it’s my turn to pay, I’m charged €23 (£20), which is ridiculously expensive, but does match the price advertised on the menu. The restaurant’s owner, Dimitrios Kalamaras, blames “blackmailing influencers” for the bad reviews.
Kalamaras, who, according to the Daily Mail, lives a “flamboyant lifestyle”, inherited the taverna from his grandfather. His company also owns the Kosmoplaz Beach Hotel close by, which has considerably better Tripadvisor reviews than DK Oyster.
I ask waiter Christofer why he thinks the restaurant has such a bad reputation. He looks genuinely puzzled.
“Look – we tell people that there’s a €35 (£30) minimum charge if they take the sunbeds, but that’s to pay for drink. If they go and order lobster, they will pay a lot for that, like it says on the menu.”
Out in the street again – and relieved not to have been conned – I meet Sara and James from London. They tell me they have never heard of DK Oyster, but they’re not surprised by its reputation.
“This is Mykonos – everyone knows that it’s the kind of place where they charge people anything they want,” Sara says. “You have to do your research and just avoid these places. You wouldn’t go just anywhere in the UK, so why would you here?”
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