Lockdown was a weird time for all of us – whether we focused on ourselves, homeschooling or simply making it through with our sanity in check. It has seen people get in touch with distant relatives, develop friendships with neighbours and offer help to strangers.
Research released by relationship support charity Relate found that 31% of respondents felt closer to their neighbours and 30% felt emotionally closer to their friends.
Here are five stories that show how people reprioritised and reinvested in their relationships – and how it has changed their outlook.
‘Knowing someone has your back is incredible’
Ann Storr, 39, brand storyteller, Kent
“I started open-water swimming during my separation from my husband and had signed up for a local supervised swimming lake. Rachel and I have been friends since primary school and live about 20 miles from each other, but only saw each other every three months or so, chatting here and there. I’d spoken about how much I’d been missing swimming, so when she found out the lakes were open again she suggested we both go. Surrounded by triathlon trainees and endurance swimmers, we do ‘old lady swimming’ – breaststroke and chatting! I’ve been having a rough time with one of my teenagers and knowing I have a good friend to talk to has just been amazing. And in turn listening to her juggles as a mum of two young children, having a poorly mother and working as a school counsellor. I’ve learned to prioritise my friends above all the boring stuff – knowing someone has your back is incredible.”
‘We were neighbours for six years but never realised we were at school together’
Victoria Dove, marketing and PR head, 40, London
“Whenever I’d run into my neighbour Laura we would stand there talking for hours and say we should go for a drink or meet for lunch. I dropped her a message to ask how she was doing during these crazy times and didn’t hear back from her at first, but as I was checking social media I noticed she went to the same secondary school as me. I was shocked as I’ve known this girl for six years. We were just two years apart and both in the school orchestra, so there would have been an occasion when we mixed. Just a few days later she came round and sat in my garden with a beer and we had so much to catch up on – we were up until 2am. Our relationship has gone from chatting about the bins to being quite deep and we’re suddenly talking about personal things. I guess what I’ve learned is to make that effort with people and if you’re saying we should go for a drink – make it happen.
‘Pre-Covid-19 neither of us truly opened up to one another’
Romero Bryan, 36, academic lecturer and designer, London
“When I was introduced to Aisha Richards, founder of Shades of Noir – an initiative to address the poor numbers of black academics teaching in universities – she was more of a mentor to me. So pre-Covid-19 neither of us truly opened up to one another. The movement for racial justice taking place across the world over lockdown made me reflect on all of my experiences of racism faced during my prior educational journey at university and my time spent working as a fashion designer.
“Aisha helped me to articulate my experiences because I lacked a certain amount of language to describe how I was feeling. As well as a mentor, I now feel I have a friend in Aisha. The pandemic highlighted the fact that we don’t need to suffer alone. If we share the burden, we can help one another get through it.”
‘I was reminded we’re two peas in a pod’
Abbey Robb, 41, integrative therapist, London; Simon Fiddaman, 40, technical manager, Amsterdam
Abbey: “We met in Australia when we were in our 20s and dated, shared a house as friends for several years and then lost touch until a few years back. We’ve both ended up living in Europe and during lockdown talked practically every day with video calls, doing quizzes, watching TV shows together, and enjoying a beer, keeping each other company. It reminded me that we’re two peas in a pod and the minute the UK lifted travel restrictions, I went to spend two-and-a-half weeks with him. Keep your friends close is the main lesson I’ve learned from lockdown. We are social animals and we need each other. It’s about making people a priority, because they’re important to you.”
Simon: “It’s been nice having someone I could message and be present with as we have both been in lockdown alone – it was as if nothing had happened in between. I believe asking if a friend wants to come visit is the single biggest thing. If you want to spend time with someone, you have to say.”
‘My wife and I are now on the same page’
Jonathan Shine, 40, motion graphics director and mini-epic.com founder, Surrey
“We’ve got twin 10-year-old daughters, so prior to lockdown we were just stuck in the distractions of our daily routine, doing what we needed to as parents, as husbands, as wives, and we were slightly disconnected. Lockdown has given us that breathing space, so we’re doing things such as yoga together and gardening. All of those things have brought us closer.
We’ve spoken a lot more and it’s been nice to listen to what my wife, Ashley, wants to do creatively. She’s got a debilitating autoimmune condition and writing poems is therapeutic for her. Lockdown basically showed me that I didn’t have the balance and I’m now renegotiating my work contract to a four-day week. Marriage is not just about a commitment, you have to invest time in each other. I’m so much happier and so much more relaxed, and there’s no guesswork between us – we’re on the same page.”
There are many lessons we can take from lockdown, but surely one of the sweetest must be the enriching connections with the people who enter our lives.
Take the time to savour the special moments with your loved ones with a chalice of Stella Artois
Please drink Stella Artois responsibly. For the facts, visit drinkaware.co.uk
