Before I donated my kidney to a complete stranger, I’d seen for myself the huge impact that kidney disease can have on a person’s life. My friend Dawn was on the transplant waiting list; for years, her house was filled with medical equipment and she regularly went into hospital for dialysis.
Sadly, in 2004, Dawn passed away. She was 45, an age when she should have been looking forward to the rest of her life – but she didn’t get to see those years. It was only afterwards that it occurred to me: why hadn’t I offered Dawn one of my kidneys?
It’s easy to see donating a kidney as something you only do for a relative, or after you die. But I did some research and found out it’s actually possible to donate one to a stranger in an act known as non-directed kidney donation.
My work as a midwife and a forensic nurse means that helping other people is second nature to me. I’ve always given blood, and I’m on the list for bone marrow donation too. The way I saw it, donating a kidney would simply mean giving away something else I can live without. And with an ever growing list of people in need of a transplant – the list grew 15% to 6,900 in the year to April 2025 – I wanted to play my part.
I got in touch with my local hospital, and was put in contact with a transplant coordinator called Jane. Her positivity made me realise that this was something I really wanted to do, and from then on she was beside me throughout my journey.
The next step was to go through the long process of finding out if I was a suitable donor. I was asked all sorts of questions – Why did I want to do it? Was I prepared for what it involved? – and had to undergo a plethora of tests, including a CT scan to check the health of my kidneys.
I have four children, so one of the biggest questions was: “What if one of them needs your kidney in the future?” I decided that I didn’t want to waste the opportunity to help someone else by dwelling on what-ifs. My hope is that if one of my children does need a transplant in future, someone like me will be there to donate their own kidney.
Luckily, I had the support of my husband, John. He was naturally worried about the potential impact on my health, but we discussed it carefully, and he understood why I felt I had to do it. He also knows that once I set my mind to something, there’s no point trying to persuade me otherwise!
Throughout the tests and hospital visits, I kept Dawn at the forefront of my mind. I reminded myself that what I was going through was nothing compared with what some people have to deal with every day of their lives.
After about 12 months of tests, I was told I could donate a kidney and I felt a wave of excitement. I was going to be able to help someone get their life back.
Just a month later, I learned that the hospital had found a suitable recipient, and the procedure was scheduled for December 2015. When I woke up after the operation, I felt a bit spaced out from the morphine drip I was attached to, but I wasn’t in any pain. Tentatively, I lifted my gown, and was surprised to see that the surgery had only left three small scars. So small, in fact, they’d been glued rather than stitched together.
I had to stay in hospital for five days after the operation and although I was nervous about doing some things for the first time, like going to the loo, my recovery went smoothly.
The hardest part was having to rest up at home: with four children and a busy job, I’m not the type to sit down for long, but I had to stay off work for 12 weeks, which was a bit boring.
Because it’s up to the organ recipient to get in touch after a donation, I don’t know whether the transplant was successful. But I hope with all my heart that it’s given someone out there a new lease of life – that they got to live the extra years that were denied to my friend Dawn. I’d love them to get in touch so I know what happened next.
There are so many people on the waiting list who are suffering and in pain. My view is that if you’ve got two kidneys and you don’t need them both, why not help someone who does? If everybody could give a little something to others, even if it’s just a smile, the world would be a better place.
