I have been with my husband for 32 years and thought our marriage was happy and solid. Ten weeks ago, a woman contacted me and said she was in a relationship with him. He had told her we had separated. I am heartbroken, as are our adult daughters. I now know adultery has been a way of life for him for 25 years. He says he has always loved me and does now more than ever. I still love him and am terrified of walking away. He believes he is a sex addict and is seeing a therapist (but not one who specifically works with sex addiction). Is this something he could recover from?
• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.
• Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.
• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.
• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.
