'I thought I was dying': Made In Chelsea star opens up about having PTSD after giving birth

By Katie Fitzpatrick

Reality TV star Louise Thompson has spoken out about having post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after giving birth to her first child.

Made In Chelsea favourite Louise has bravely opened up in a candid Instagram post about suffering from 'depressive panic episodes' after she almost died while giving birth to her baby boy Leo last month.

In the brave post detailing the severity of her condition the 31-year-old told fans: "The other day I thought I was dying."

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And Louise, who spent a month in hospital following serious complications after labour, revealed that she had ended up back in A&E on New Year's Day.

Speaking out about her experience so far of feeling 'trapped in a world of PTSD' she said: "My panic episodes can last hours or days and are totally unpredictable.

"When I’m having one I can’t function, I can’t look after myself, let alone anyone else around me.

"I can’t even spell my name. I can’t see, I can’t hear, I can’t look anyone in the eye.

"They have got so bad that I have convinced myself that I’m going crazy.

"I feel depersonalisation, hyper paranoia as if I’ve taken a million and one drugs and I feel like I’m stuck in another realm."

She continued: "I am not myself. If my mind can’t find a physical problem then it will attach itself to a mental one.

"The other night I thought my head was actually going to explode open because my internal dialogue was so wild and overwrought.

"I looked in the mirror and my eyes were blood shot. I don’t know whether the mental causes the physical or the other way around, but things seem to be getting worse.

"If it was a permanent state, I don’t think I would be here."

Louise says that for her every day is uncertain and she's unable to plan anything because of the panic episodes.

"What is certain is that I’m not thinking about anything negative, in fact I’m doing everything I can to try not to spiral… but my subconscious thinks that I’m dying all the time," she explained.

"I think I have boxed my experiences up and buried them, but they are coming back to haunt me. ALL THE TIME.

"My body and mind are in constant fight or flight mode and I quite literally will be triggered by anything.

"The other day I looked in the mirror and noticed that the underside of my tongue was blue. I thought I was dying."

Louise told her followers: "When I have one full good day I celebrate it, but I’m actually scared about what is going to come next."

And she asked: "Has anyone else been trapped in this world of PTSD? I know that everyone’s experience is different. In fact please don’t comment anything unless it is resoundingly positive because I’m not sure I can handle it right now."

She added: "If you are struggling with mental health problems, know that you are not alone.

"We are all in this together. Life can be a real beauty and a real tough b**** too."

On December 23 she introduced her adorable son to her 1.3million followers as she bravely told how Leo had ended up in neonatal intensive care unit and Louise in intensive care.

Louise, who was given the green light to come home for Christmas, said: "In all honesty I never imagined that so many bad things could happen to me, but to dance with death twice brings a whole new view of the world - a stark reminder of how short and sacred life really is."

She previously thanked her partner Ryan Libbey for everything he has done, including calling ambulances, waiting outside operating theatres for hours, sleeping on the hard hospital floor and bringing up their son as a 'single parent' for the first month of his life.

"He has had to witness things that no partner should ever have to," she wrote.


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