It has been 10 months since my boyfriend and I split up. I miss him. I feel utterly stuck and cry every day. He cheated throughout our relationship. There were so many betrayals that I have no clue how many there were. Moving out was a relief. I was angry for months. But now the anger is gone and all the pain, sadness and betrayal is left. I think it was easier when I was angry and hated him. I wonder how I will ever trust a man again. I haven’t dated anyone since. I am so afraid of getting hurt by another man that I hide at home, and try not to think about him. It still makes me utterly nauseated when I think about him having sex with another woman. I wish there was a magic pill to take, so I could let him go and move on. I am so lonely and I miss the sweet things about him. I have so much despair in my heart, and a lot of times I think it would be easier just to be dead because I wouldn’t have to go through all this heartache. I have never had this much trouble moving on after a relationship ends. Cheating is the most painful betrayal there is.
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