For most of my working twenties, I felt like motherhood would be a threat to my career. Like many women — 86 per cent of women in one of my own Instagram polls, to be exact — I believed having a baby could jeopardise the work I’d poured into establishing myself.
So I delayed. I had my fertility levels checked every year. And I worried constantly about if, when, and how I would ever fit motherhood into my life.
I had two abortions for my career. Something I’ve written about extensively. I don’t regret those decisions — because at the time, I didn’t interrogate why I believed it had to be one or the other: career or baby. I was younger. I had time up my sleeve.
So a few years later, when I fell pregnant at 32, I didn’t feel joy. I felt fear. I was running my own company and worried, would investors be disappointed? Would my team think I was less committed? Would the company’s growth stall?
That fear forced me to pause. It was time to interrogate why I saw motherhood as a threat. I went through a process of unlearning, unpacking all the things I’d seen, witnessed, and absorbed throughout my career that led me to believe motherhood was a bad choice. And slowly, I began to challenge every fear I held.
It wasn’t until recently — now that my son is 15 months old — that I realised yes, I had proven to myself that motherhood and career can co-exist. But deep down, I was still clinging to the belief that I needed to prove nothing had changed.
That I could become a mum and act like nothing had happened. Be the same leader. Work the same way. Return to work after 4 weeks. Just with a baby in tow.
But here’s what recently clicked and once I let it — my god, things got really good…trying to prove you haven’t changed is exhausting. And it’s the fastest way to miss the power of what has.
Because motherhood does change you. Your priorities do shift. Your career suddenly has a contender: the love you have for your child and if you accept it and see where it takes you in my experience it can lead to the biggest career breakthroughs (or maybe career pauses, or shifts, or ends!).
That love is powerful. So powerful that it demands you get real with yourself. That you channel your ambition, focus, and energy into the things that actually matter — and stop pouring yourself into things that don’t.
At first, I was terrified to admit that. I thought acknowledging change meant admitting loss. That it meant I’d be less ambitious, less successful, less committed.
But all it did was give me incredibly clarity. Motherhood didn’t kill my ambition. It sharpened it. It made me braver. More intentional. Unwilling to waste energy on anything that wasn’t soul-aligned or work in ways that drained me. And for that push, I’m incredibly grateful.
That acceptance led to my greatest personal growth yet — and to stepping into my dream role. At 30 weeks pregnant, I became President at Peanut, the world’s fastest-growing app for mothers. Peanut was a personal move as it’s a product that saved me during my first pregnancy, when I felt alone and uncertain about what lay ahead. Now I get to help build it. That’s not a setback. That’s a full-circle reward and to be hired at 30 weeks pregnant demonstrates leadership from Peanuts CEO Michelle Kennedy that should be the rule, not the exception.
When it comes to career and starting a family, I understand the fear because I’ve lived it. What my experience has taught me is this: it’s vital to separate real threats from internalised ones. Not every workplace treats parenthood well — that’s a reality. But there are also workplaces and leaders who do. And if you’re in a place where you can’t imagine pursuing both (if that’s what you want)? Maybe that place doesn’t deserve you. Unsupportive workplaces don’t deserve brilliant women.
Here’s what else I’ve learned: for me, my career is still something I want to pour energy into. But I’ve also made peace with the fact that it may not always be the case. There’s no single way to mother. No hierarchy. No right or wrong path.
What I know for sure is this: the change motherhood brings is not loss. You don’t vanish when you become a mother. You evolve. You expand and you become even more of a gun than you were before because motherhood is one hell of a job!
Lead Image: @michellebattersby
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